Every year when October rolls around, certain things start to happen in Madison. Perhaps most notably, the weather drops approximately 25 degrees within a 48-hour period and Uggs reappear in full force.
The football team, which always has a solid start to their season, begin their conference play and will dash the hopes of the entire student body as they fail to conquer the Big Ten like they hope they will.
For me, however, October means one thing and one thing only: Halloween. Although Halloween in Madison is exciting and anticipated by nearly every student, I'm not a fan of the State Street/shitfaced shenanigans. For me, it's the costumes that get me all geared up.
Over the last three years, I have seen some of the most awesome costumes ever imagined and, of course, some of the most inappropriate. Among the best: A foursome dressed as the Fruit of the Loom fruits, complete with a tighty-whitey-clad boy dancing around them, and a big-boned guy dressed as the Kool-Aid guy in red sweats carrying a cardboard brick wall that he would periodically smash through.
And the worst: A mock Duke lacrosse team carrying a naked blow-up doll and a trio of male tampons—light, regular and heavy flows.
I'm not typically a big fan of store-bought costumes. I prefer the truly creative and wonderful homemade costumes that you only see once each Halloween (and then undoubtedly see many more the following year after non-creative people like yours truly steal others' ideas).
Over the last three years I have walked out my door as (this is an abridged list) an Eskiho (a half-naked Eskimo), a yellow crayon, a pirate and Garth Algar from ""Wayne's World."" I only played the skanky costume game freshman year, learned my lesson—after half freezing to death on State Street—and made pants a costume requirement each year since.
Every year I have proudly made my own costume and endured the embarrassment of no one knowing who or what I was, and I fear this year will be no different. While I am very excited about my costume, I fear I am probably alone in my joy.
Over the weekend I did some serious TV therapy and caught up on the countless reality TV shows, which I find to be endlessly inspiring, if not lif-changing. How could I not find a costume idea somewhere among all the unique (well, probably scripted) ""reality"" characters on the airwaves?
During a commercial break on an episode of ""Real Chance of Love,"" I decided to do some casual channel surfing, and when I hit Bravo it was like I saw a white light at the end of my Halloween tunnel. There it was: the perfect costume for my last Freakfest.
DISCLAIMER: If anyone reading this column steals my costume idea, I will hunt you down and do something non-violent to you or your family members, but still mean enough for you to get the point.
Kim! Kim from ""The Real Housewives of Atlanta!"" Perfect! The costume itself will be fairly simple: a low-cut shirt, a blonde wig, a cell phone into which I'll screech ""Big Poppa"" every 30 seconds and some very tasteful bra stuffing. Unfortunately, I've already had to rule out the idea of having any of the other housewives in my entourage, because they've already decided on their costumes or think my idea is ridiculous and refuse to participate. Their loss.
Group costumes tend to not work out for me anyway. I tend to get distracted easily and left behind, and if I see something shiny in the distance, there's a pretty good chance I'm going to drop whatever it is I'm doing to chase after it (like a squirrel but more pathetic). Last year I was the only Spice Girl left in my apartment after midnight, and I never managed to meet up with anyone other than Posh.
Despite my lonesome costume planning, I'm still endlessly excited. I've always wanted to be a blonde with DD cups for a day, and now I have the perfect excuse to try it out. I love Halloween.
Have a really great costume idea that you're dying to tell someone but don't trust any of your shady friends? Tell Gillian at glevy2@wisc.edu.
