On my one-woman march to educate every single living person about the greatest things books contain, I was enlightened by a friend who told me she ""didn't have the time, y'know, to sit and read stuff.""
This statement got me thinking: How do I make the time to ""sit and read stuff?""
For me, the idea of an afternoon curled up in a comfy armchair surrounded by unread books sounds just as good as relaxing on the Terrace in the sunshine with friends.
Obviously, my friend, who shall remain unnamed lest I embarrass her with her overly busy social calendar, did not agree.
So to help everyone who bears a slight resemblance to my friend with her social hierarchy of needs, I've come up with a list of unlikely places a person could find time to read a book.
1. Place: Next to any talkative friend with a phone
Time: Always
Everyone has that friend: the one who will pick up any call and superglue the phone to her ear. It doesn't matter what she was doing, once the phone rings, baby, she's gone. Reading is a wonderful new way to passive-aggressively deal with the complete lack of manners of someone who's suddenly decided she had to have a heart-to-heart chat with her camp buddy from the second grade. Pulling out a book will be more entertaining than staring off into space pretending you're not listening, and the novel is sure to be more interesting than the friend is anyway.
2. Place: Walking
Time: Going to the grocery store, shopping, class
Walking in a straight line (when sober) isn't a problem for most people, and I've found, through trial and error, that reading while doing so isn't that much more difficult. Everyone has to walk some time on her own without an iPod to provide a soundtrack, and, trust me, most of the time the scenery isn't as interesting without music. Walking while reading promotes multitasking, balance and, most importantly, an even faster trip to class. Passersby often slide out of the way, while cars halt magically in the presence of the true intelligence a person reading a book exudes. Really, you barely even notice the yelling and the honking.
3. Place: A loud, crowded party
Time: Waiting for the liquor to kick in and make people more interesting
Now this may seem like a less obvious place, but actually it's the best of the three. With the bass thumping, people crammed into every available space and unable to hear the person next to them, pulling out a book is a way to get noticed. With all the reflections off the keg and beer cans, finding enough light to read by won't be a problem. Also, reading always makes one look really smart. So much so that by the end of the night anyone who parties hard but is still capable of reading Chaucer will be elected king of the party for his superior abilities.
Think reading is too awesome to be done at a party? Explain why to Alex at kuskowski@wisc.edu
