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The Daily Cardinal Est. 1892
Friday, November 08, 2024

Hard-ass professor regains popularity among students with tales of intoxicated motorcycle riding

Martin Schultz, a 67 year-old engineering professor known for his tough grading and distant relationship with his students, is regaining popularity by sharing intimate details of irresponsible and often illegal behavior he exhibited over thirty years ago. While Professor Schultz had previously been content with his reputation as a stern professor that challenged his students, he decided to share intimate details of his past with students after seeing comments about him on ratemyprofessor.com. Schultz, who was interviewed for this article, said that he was ""shocked"" when he read student comments on the Rate My Professor website that described him as ""a fucking douche"" and a ""miserable, sad, lonely old man who will die alone if there is any justice in this world.""

""A few of those comments really stung,"" Schultz said. ""I mean, I am certainly a tough grader so I would understand if a student or two might say that my course is challenging, but I had no idea that students' hatred for me went so far as to wish that I never again find love before my death,"" Schultz continued somberly.

Professor Schultz had previously been married, but divorced nearly twenty years ago.

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According to Schultz, it was after reading these harsh student comments that he decided to change his teaching style. He replaced his blue blazer that he came to class wearing for nearly thirty years with a leather jacket with a marijuana plant stitched on the back and began to swear frequently during the class. Schultz also incorporated these changes into his grading by writing ""you fucking rocked that shit"" on ""A"" papers.

After the students began to respond positively to these changes, Schultz went a step further by subtly integrating tales of his own drug abuse as well as a few close calls he had with police back in the 1970s, when he was pulled over on his motorcycle for suspicion of DUI after ""having ten or eleven shots of tequila."" According to Schultz, the changes have made students feel far more comfortable with him, and his ratemyprofessor.com score has increased dramatically.

""The key to my success, I think, is not simply telling my students these stories but integrating them into the course material in a subtle way,"" Schultz said. For example, a student came to me the other day with questions over a test he had just failed. I tried to cheer him up by telling him that he got closer to a D than I got to getting a DUI on that motorcycle, which is pretty damn close. The student didn't laugh but I think he really appreciated my sense of humor because he flipped me the bird and walked out, which I think, is his way of sort of acknowledging that I'm an edgier teacher now and I'm OK with that sort of thing.""

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