Okay, so maybe it's just me, but for my entire college career I have struggled with paying attention in lecture. Perhaps it is the packed room, the over-crowdedness of people and the claustrophobia that does it. Or possibly it's the professor with the monotone voice and the dim lighting. Whatever it is, I sure as hell find it difficult to stay focused. I'm even prescribed Adderall and that shit doesn't help me!
Ironically enough, I am sitting in lecture (Poli Sci to be exact) and writing this column. After 30 minutes have passed I have discovered the underlying reason of why I suck so bad at paying attention. Here it is: I (Taylor Curley) attribute 100 percent of my ADD in lecture to the annoying kids that share the room with me. No, it is not because I literally have ADD, or because the room is crammed. I blame my horrible GPA on you irritating individuals.
So what should you do if you are one of those kids that are solely 100 percent leading to my demise?! Well first of all STOP what you're doing, and secondly, read the rest of the column and read it well. Study it, memorize it, know it and at all costs avoid my wrath.
1) Don't be the infamous sick kid in class. The kid that coughs every two minutes practically yacking up a lung in the process. Leave your disease and phlegm at home; you are annoying and nobody wants to sit anywhere near you. Dis-gusting.
2) Don't be the Facebook stalker in class. The person that sits on Facebook and ""chats it up"" with their friends, yeah, that's a big NO there. You got off your mattress and came to lecture, so at least try and pay attention? Do something productive instead of worthless.
Also, I'm not sure if you know this, but the people behind you can also see your computer screen, and yes, we all occasionally glance at what you and your ""bff"" are talking about. Either close Facebook and start trying to take notes, or just stop wasting a seat and leave. You are adding to my claustrophobia.
3) Don't be the gabber. You know, that one group of people that planned to take the class together and then conveniently use it for their social hour? Once again, no matter how quiet you whisper the people around you can hear you. Use Starbucks for your gossiping, I know you all get your coffee together before class so use that time for talkin'.
4) Don't be the squirmer in class. The kid that is always fidgeting in the seat, always flipping through notebooks, always moving around and just constantly shifting. Stop drinking your Red Bull, take a chill pill and just freaking sit still. If it helps you to draw I would advise that too. Just don't kick my chair 50 times in the hour, it is annoying. And yes, you do cause quite the little scene with all your constant moving, so please just calm down.
5) Don't be the copier looking at someone else's notebook or computer screen to help you take down the notes, especially if it is someone that you don't know. Leaning over to decipher the handwriting of the person sitting next to you is just awkward and weird. I know you are trying to be subtle about it, but guess what: you're not!
Either put your glasses on, your hearing aid in or sit closer to the front. Whatever you do, just stop looking at my notes for the whole hour, because you know what, it is just downright bothersome. (Yes, I am talking to YOU, girl who is looking at my screen right now. I am not even taking notes and you are reading this… freaking STOP.)
Anyway, that is the list that I have accumulated, directed toward the people that are aiding in my less-than 3.0 GPA. It is you coughers, you Facebookers, you gabbers, you squirmers and you copiers (I said STOP looking at my computer), all of whom are not helping me graduate in four years. So to you I say (very insincerely) thank you. Thank you for making class a quiet chaos of distractions, you have succeeded and now it is time that you stop. The semester has just started, so just do us all a favor and stop while you are slightly ahead. In advance, a (very sincere) thank you.
