UW- Madison senior Stan Lapidus has confirmed rumors that he attended and actually ""kinda enjoyed"" his girlfriend Sasha's entire Women's volleyball match against Purdue Monday night. While Lapidus' girlfriend and UW-Volleyball captain Sasha Gunderson credited her team's ""fighting spirit"" to help explain Wisconsin's easy victory over Purdue on Monday, Lapidus' sincere enjoyment of the event remains far more of a mystery as it continues to stump experts such as sociology professor Michael Armstrong.
""We've simply never seen anything like this before. And I've been working here for nearly forty years,"" said Armstrong.
Armstrong continued, ""This is certainly not the first time we've seen boyfriends of volleyball players be dragged to the games as some kind of psychological or emotional punishment, but it takes a truly whipped loser the likes of which we have never seen before to actually have fun at one of these events.""
As Armstrong confirmed, it has not been uncommon for boyfriends of volleyball players in the past to be forced to attend games. What makes Lapidus' case so unique is that he may be the only boyfriend in history to stay for the entire duration of the volleyball match. And while boyfriends in the past have killed time by looking nervously at their watch, playing games on their cell phones, or ensuring that they show up to the match completely intoxicated, Lapidus used none of those popular strategies.
""Yea, I knew Sasha had a game on Monday so I bought tickets to go see ‘Inception' with my buddy Mike. About forty minutes into the movie, I got a text from Sasha saying that I had better come to the game, so I did what any boyfriend would do: I walked straight out of the theater, stopped at a flower shop to buy [a dozen red roses for Sasha], and sprinted to the gymnasium to go support my baby,"" the whipped loser said after the match.
Several male witnesses (who asked that their names be withheld to avoid the humiliation of admitting that they, too, attended the women's volleyball match) stated that Lapidus watched the game with great interest from the moment he arrived. When asked why they attended the match, they replied, ""Well, our only other option was men's soccer, it's not like we had a choice.""
The witnesses also claim that Lapidus sat on the edge of his seat, refused to take a bathroom break and even stood up and screamed ""Lets go!"" after a particular point in which Sasha helped the team score, although the final accusation could not be verified immediately.
