The owners of Madison's Lucky building, one of the most prestigious and expensive private apartment buildings on campus, announced Monday that the interior lobby will soon be outfitted with a human staircase while the elevators undergo much-needed repair.
The announcement also assured Lucky's residents that the human staircase would only be created from UW students at the biggest financial disadvantage and that no Lucky resident would need to participate in being a part of the staircase. While the announcement was expected to draw positive support from Lucky residents, the human staircase seems to have evoked mixed reactions.
""Honestly, I think it's a great idea,"" Lucky resident Travis Vrat. said. ""Every time I walk into my apartment, my Custom 1998 Air Jordans are filthy from those dusty lobby tiles. I can finally leave my apartment without having to worry about how dirty those tiles are going to make [them].""
However, not every Lucky resident, seems enthusiastic about the idea. ""It sounds like an awful idea,"" Lucky resident Monica Mann said. ""I saw the staff bringing in the first thirty or forty people [for the human staircase] late last night and [the students who were brought in] kept whispering that I needed to call 911. I didn't, of course, but it certainly made me question the project a bit.""
After hearing these mixed reactions from Lucky residents, I was able to sit down with Stephen Brown, owner of Lucky Management Company Steve Brown Apartments, and ask him about the project. When I told Brown that some residents were questioning the morality of the project, Brown was quick to reply.
""Look, we're not the police and we're not a court of law. We are running a profitable business. We aren't here to decide whether it's right or wrong or legal or illegal to kidnap UW students and force them to become parts of a human staircase against their will because they are not our clients. Our job is to make the most comfortable and convenient living environment possible for our paying residents. Since the elevators are undergoing some maintenance in the next few weeks, we simply thought, what could be more comfortable for our clients than fitting the lobby with a human staircase for our residents' convenience?""
Before I could ask Brown any more questions, several members of the Madison Police department interrupted the interview. The police officers explained to Brown that he was under arrest for felony kidnapping and proceeded to handcuff and escort Brown out of the building.
