Tom Santoro, whose 18-year-old daughter was beaten to death with a baseball bat by her ex-boyfriend, spoke about domestic violence Monday at the Memorial Union.
The event was sponsored by Promoting Awareness, Victim Empowerment as a part of Domestic Violence Awareness Month.
Santoro, who has been speaking to high school and college-age students about dating violence for 13 years, said abuse often does not begin with physical violence.
""It will start out with some name-calling, putting down ... which is outright verbal abuse ... but when they do this to you over and over again, that person starts to believe what they're being told ... and this can start to affect the person emotionally,"" Santoro said.
Verbal abuse can quickly turn into physical abuse in the form of punching, hair-pulling and slapping, according to Santoro.
Santoro said dating violence comes down to power and control over the other partner. He said even tickling can turn dangerous.
""As soon as you tell your partner ‘cut it out, stop it' and they don't listen to you, it can turn into abuse,"" Santoro said.
Santoro said there are two essential ingredients for a healthy, safe relationship.
""Find a partner who is going to respect you and trust you,"" he said.
PAVE Volunteer Coordinator Claire Udell urged students to attend PAVE volunteer orientations to get information about domestic violence and to learn how to get involved with prevention.
More information about dating violence prevention, along with campus events for Domestic Violence Awareness Month, can be found on the PAVE website at uwpave.rso.wisc.edu.
