Recently I was in the dormitory bathroom when I heard a voice from a nearby shower stall say, ""Oh man, that calc exam was so gay."" Usually I'm too groggy and inattentive in the morning, but upon hearing this I was totally awake and instantly thought, ""WAIT! What?"" Whenever I hear ""gay"" used in this context I get upset. Repeatedly I ask myself what is it that makes people think it's acceptable to use ""gay"" as a synonym for ""stupid,"" demeaning an entire community?
It's not alright to use ""gay"" as a synonym for ""stupid"" in any way, shape or form. Hearing a remark of this nature can be hurtful to gay and lesbian individuals. Too often the pain felt by the LGBT community when someone says, ""oh man, that calc exam was so gay,"" goes entirely unnoticed. Yet, thinking twice when using ignorant comments like this should remain a topic of conern.
As a homosexual, when I hear someone insinuate that homosexuality is as terrible as a ""shitty"" calculus test, it is insulting. When people say, ""oh man, that calc exam was so gay,"" it's indirectly bullying people. Nobody should have to feel bullied, directly or indirectly, and nobody should have to feel insulted for their sexual orientation.
Needless to say, insult hurts in general. But hurtful remarks sting even more when they're being targeted at something an individual can't control—something that's inherent such as race, age or sexuality. I personally have been out of the closet for around four years, and I'm proud of who I am and proud to be gay, but it still breaks my spirit to hear ""gay"" being used to negatively describe something. I, along with many others, don't want to be compared to a horrible calculus exam. Feelings of discomfort and hurt come with hearing ""gay"" used as a synonym for ""stupid.""
It doesn't matter how proud, outspoken or comfortable you are with your sexuality, pain inevitably accompanies destructive word choice.
In the case of individuals who are still closeted, hearing ""gay"" used in this context is even worse. Whenever another person uses ""gay"" instead of ""stupid,"" the pain comes with fear of people who are not open to themselves or others. It makes it more difficult to come out; one gets the feeling other people automatically connect homosexuality with the bad things in life. By using ""gay"" to describe something you think is stupid, you're systematically making it more difficult for the closeted LGBT community around you to come out and live life free from the chains of a prejudiced society—ultimately scaring young and undeclared LGBT into staying closeted.
This isn't even the worst-case scenario, either. Too many gay kids have committed suicide because of bullying sparked by their sexuality. This abuse doesn't need to be direct and focused either, it can be as simple as saying as using ""gay"" or ""queer"" out of context. While hearing it once or twice most likely won't cause somebody to feel suicidal, hearing it enough will engrain an unwelcoming sense of place within society.
Unfortunately, it's not uncommon for homosexual people to be suicidal at some point. This is usually because they're left feeling like they can't come out—nobody will accept them, people will dislike them and they'll be left alone and unloved. These feelings can be the result from outright abusive behavior, but it can also be the result of hearing one too many classmates, friends and family members describe something as being ""gay"" instead of ""stupid.""
I was hurt the other day when listening to two guys who live on the same floor as me talking about how bad, or should I say, how ""gay"", their calculus classes are. The pain I felt when I was a scared and closeted high school freshman hasn't gone away, and I still feel it every time I hear about how ""gay"" a calc exam is. This pain is something my boyfriend deals with every day, especially when he hears his close friends use a phrase that's incredibly insulting.
Every LGBT person, out or not, feels the same pain during a walk through the Library Mall, the Union or a library that includes a fellow student callously remark about how a terrible calculus exam was ""gay.""
Please, pay attention to what you're saying next time you want to express your dislike for something, it's important to not use the word ""gay"" to express dislike because your use of the term ""gay"" expresses your aversion for gay people.
Use ""stupid"" instead of ""gay"" next time you describe your calc exam; you get the same point across while making a positive difference in an LGBT person's life.
