I really like to sing, which would be OK if I had a good voice. But I don't. Unfortunately, my mom never had the heart to tell me I was terrible, and thus I did a few local theatre auditions growing up. ""Annie""—rejection. ""A Christmas Carol""—rejection. ""The Wizard of Oz""—rejection. ""The Music Man""—rejection. In my defense, for that last one, I was up against the director's daughter and a girl who is now studying Opera Performance at Northwestern. So, like, I didn't really have a chance.
Finally I went to an audition for ""Cinderella"" where everyone was guaranteed a part. I'd finally get my time to shine. A few days after my audition I went to see the postings and find out which part would shoot me to stardom. No joke, the list said, ""Kathleen Brosnan—Pile of Dirty Laundry."" It was a no speaking/no moving role. All I did was sit on the stage with washcloths and socks pinned to me while Cinderella sang and mopped the floor. Basically, what I'm trying to say is once the video of that performance leaks, you can expect me at the Oscars, hopefully on the arm of Josh Hartnett or Martin Scorsese. I like a man with strong eyebrows.
Anyway, long story short, I like to sing even though I'm not good at it, and my lucky roommates get to hear my gift every day for free. Doubly lucky for them is that I like to play songs on repeat to the point of exhaustion. I have a playlist on my iTunes called, ""Songs my roommates hate, thanks to me."" Here's part of the list:
""Over and Done With"" by The Proclaimers
This is the perfect song to listen to after you've finished a paper or an exam. Try it. Other than the title lyrics, the song has absolutely nothing to do with school, but just disregard that and jam along anyway.
""Lunch Lady Land"" by Adam Sandler
This is the perfect song to play whenever. A wedding, a football tailgate, a breakup—you name it, and it's likely an appropriate occasion. Does anybody know of a jukebox in Madison that has this song? If I hear ""Hoagies and grinders, hoagies and grinders / Navy beans, navy beans, navy beans / Meatloaf sandwich,"" while I'm out at a bar, I will buy a round of drinks for everyone. OK, well maybe not everyone. But at least the people I know.
""Home"" by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros
This is a good song to head bob and tap your foot to. Look up their David Letterman performance on YouTube. It's… strange. Very strange.
""Jump in the Line"" by Harry Belafonte
It's impossible to watch ""Beetlejuice"" and not have this song in your head afterward. Once, when Harry crooned, ""Shake, shake, shake Señora,"" I attempted a shimmy, but my cherry Slush Puppie put an end to that real quick. Table dancing + Slush + Harry Belafonte = worthy of a Tide commercial.
""Fast Car"" by Tracy Chapman
In high school I told my friend that if I were to try out for ""American Idol,"" I would sing this song. She responded, ""Well that's depressing,"" and walked away. Depressing or not, this song moves mountains!
""Waving Flag"" by K'naan
Makes everyone, everywhere want to play soccer even if they hate soccer.
""Sitting on the Dock of the Bay"" by Otis Redding
The power of the whistle at its finest.
Do you have a song you can't get out of your head? Have you ever played a more pathetic role than a pile of dirty laundry? Please share at kqbrosnan@wisc.edu so I can feel better about myself.
