MADISON (AP)—Gov. Scott Walker shocked Wisconsinites Thursday when he declared in a press release he has come up with a good idea.
The state seemed to grind to a halt as people heard about the idea. After months in which the governor seemed to go out of his way to come up with plans that garnered national attention for their awfulness, state residents were astounded by Walker's logical idea that did not reek of unspeakable evil.
""Hey, that doesn't sound too horrible, I guess,"" thousands of residents across the state said.
""This idea is better than my other ones,"" Walker said. ""I know those sucked, but this idea is actually OK. I really think you guys will like it.""
In the meeting, Gov. Walker described his idea as ""bipartisan"" but with ""strong morals."" First impressions of the bill were positive, as it did not outwardly seem like an attempt to bankrupt the state, destroy decades of progress or turn Wisconsin into a division of Koch Industries.
Walker said he knew something had to be done after he essentially ruined the state last month.
""[Wisconsin] needs to be open for business,"" Gov. Walker said in response to a question about what prompted the idea. ""We can't do that if we're not going to do this.""
""It just dawned on me,"" he continued. ""With all of the tools we're offering, who could be against this idea. It's definitely going to fix stuff.""
""This is the idea Wisconsin needs right now,"" he added.
Once the initial shock wore off, a bemused Democratic caucus responded to the idea with murmurs of, ""holy shit I didn't know he had it in him.""
""Good lord that's ... that's actually pretty good,"" State Rep. Brett Hulsey, D-Madison, said. ""I run Iron Man triathlons, and this is like when you see that one fat dude at the start and you're like ‘yea right' but then it turns out he's a pretty good swimmer.""
