If Elusive Parallelogram's newest release was as eclectic as its cover suggests, I'd start my own grassroots campaign to get this group a Grammy. I mean, pistols, money, mustaches AND politics? Oh my! Unfortunately, the group must have exhausted their inspiration in designing the packaging of Modern Splendor, because the pearl in the middle of this paper oyster is more ""rough"" than a diamond. Only a few tracks stand out, while the rest are certainly listenable and may cause you to hum their melodies… for about five minutes, until they suffer the same fate of old blink-182 filler tracks: Lost and forgotten.
To their credit, the group certainly picked the right people to mix and master Modern Splendor. Each drum beat and bass thump is clean enough to individually pick out, yet I really enjoyed the inclusion of some gritty distortion to give it a slightly ""worked-in"" quality. Most of the album can be likened to a mid-range pair of running shoes: Initially painful and stiff, it may be enjoyable with time and patience, but by the time it's really grown on you there are already better-quality products available on the market.
Their 2009 debut, And Everything Changes, started them in the right direction. ""Destroyer"" gives off an angsty (dare I say) nu-metal feel, while the synths in ""Hang Those Who Speak of the West"" could have been featured in a shady 80s B-movie. I mean that in the best possible way, of course. The track ""And Everything Changes"" is the cherry on a multi-layered cake, with a bright, acoustic melody reminiscent of Incubus in their prime.
Too bad they've largely derailed from their promising beginning. I had high expectations when the bells kicked in at the beginning of ""Each Key,"" yet the rest of the song failed to impress. The same goes for ""Modern Splendor"" and ""Winter Low."" It's a shame, both the acoustic intro and the solo had me air guitaring like a fool in my apartment.
""Burning in Water"" was a complete game-changer. Starting off with a groovy guitar-driven intro, it seamlessly leads into a vocal/instrumental trade-off that compliments each other like chocolate and vanilla in DQ swirl soft-serve. Though you can't understand a word either John Hense or Andrew Foys says, the song has one of those floating choruses that would even make your deaf and senile grandmother bob her head. Oh, and that solo! It's like a pretty girl whose glance you catch at the grocery store register; you'll only see her once or twice, but the moment was great while it lasted.
My spirits were once again lifted as soon as ""P90"" fired up. Feeling a poppy vibe similar to the first time I heard Mae's ""The Everglow,"" my elation was dashed against the rocks as soon as Hense and Foys' nasally vocals kicked in. It seems like the duo was going for the whiny quality Tom DeLonge used to float blink-182's successful single ""All the Small Things."" Sadly, it doesn't click, and they drag down every track in the album.
Elusive Parallelograms could have alternatively named their latest ""The Space In Between."" It's as if the group put their juiciest bits in the first and last 30 seconds, and quickly hashed some verses out to complete the three to five-minute tracks. Not even the brilliant mixing and mastering job could have compensated for the utter lack of originality in ""Modern Splendor."" Someone please hand this band a Mac Book and a copy of Fruity Loops; they really could use the inspiration.
Standout tracks: ""Burning in the Water,"" ""P90"" and ""Odds and Evens.""
