#oldpeopletweetthedarndestthings

Yoko Ono:

Why do people keep laughing at desert island jokes? This is because, secretly, we are all desert islands.

Sept. 17

Send a paper moon to your friend. Ask them to burn it.

Sept. 14

U.S. Sen. John Kerry, D-Mass. (during a bike race):

rode 60 miles at crack o dawn – but holy dogs now the pressure's on!!

July 27

Steven Tyler;

THERS SO MANY FREEKS IN TEXIS... IM SO CONFUSED I FEEL LIKE A BABBY IN A TOPLESS BAR

Aug. 30

Tom Hanks:

Caught my Thumb closing a gate. This is what twitter was made for! Ouch Hanx.

June 23

Old people are adorable and don't understand technology, so submit some senile tweets to page2@dailycardinal.com.