Reviewing films, it is my duty to protect you, the reader, from the worst the theaters have to offer. Because no one has time to see every movie that comes out everywhere, I need a way to tell readers FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT'S HOLY, STAY AWAY!"" With that in mind, I give you ""Boron's Laws of Bad Movies,"" a set of universal bad movie traits, so that you can do the job critics can't:
The ""One-Syllable Title"" Law: One syllable titles are usually the mark of a lazily-written or undercooked script, or an idea so brainless that no title can accurately encapsulate it. These titles are generally uninspired, which mirrors the uninspired writing contained within. How was the rogue bomber with artificial intelligence that blew up everything in sight in ""Stealth"" remotely stealthy? Movies like ""Torque,"" ""10
