Feeling tired, run-down or out of energy? Does that triple-shot espresso not get you going in the morning? Do you wake up feeling unrefreshed and constantly need to press the snooze button? Can't explain your sudden increase in belly fat? Do you find that your memory and concentration just aren't there?
You might be one of the millions of Americans affected by stress. Due to our fast-paced, demanding lifestyle, it has been estimated that we now experience 100 times more stress than our grandparents did.
Here's something to think about: For every minute you experience stress, it takes 60 minutes to remove the flood of adrenal stress hormones from your bloodstream.
Before you scream at that driver who can't hear you anyway, why don't you consider if it's worth getting all worked up about? But don't consider it for too long—constant rumination will only prolong your stress.
Did you know that things you have little to no control over such as genetic inheritance, environmental toxins and electromagnetic radiation can cause stress? But don't worry about that too much either. Of all the emotions, helplessness is the most stress-inducing one.
So ladies, have you had your Pap smear? Gentlemen, have you had a prostate exam? We realize these tests aren't too fun and may make a patient anxious, but folks it's crucial that you stay calm. Having someone probe around in your cervix, crotch or anus may make you feel a little uneasy, but why stress out over it? Getting stressed out will only increases the chances that the doctor actually detects a cancerous bump or abnormality. So relax, unless you would rather have cancer and have to undergo invasive surgery.
Again, I must stress (pun intended—Laughter is good for stress) that you need not to worry. There are plenty of things you can do to combat the ill effects of stress.
You can try adding some moderate aerobic exercise to your life; exercise has been proven to decrease anxiety and depression as well as relieve stress. Just make sure you don't overdo it. Over-exercising can lead to overtraining, a state of chronic stress in which one produces too much cortisol, fatigues his adrenal glands and shrinks his hippocampus. (In case you've been overstressed for too long and have forgotten, the hippocampus plays a crucial role in memory.)
Next, make sure you have fulfilling relationships in your life. An unhappy marriage can trigger inflammation, which may lead to arthritis, diabetes or heart disease. But don't take that to mean you should kick your lowly spouse to the curb. Divorce has everlasting consequences and can increase the mortality rate from 42-102 percent.
At this point you might think, ""What do I have to do to avoid stress? Eat only pure, natural food, meditate for two hours a day, avoid wireless technology and sleep for eight uninterrupted hours every night? Are you suggesting I move to an uninhabited island?""
Yes, actually I am. It's a sacrifice that you are going to have to make. However, make sure you mentally reframe your ""sacrifice"" into ""being proactive"" about your health. Pessimism and negativity can increase stress.
Also be sure to bring a tight- knit group of friends with you to the island. As you may know by now, supportive social networks have been shown to increase longevity by decreasing stress.
Just make sure your friends are significantly younger and healthier than you so none of them die before you do. Death of a loved one is one of the most traumatic life stressors.
Did you happen to stumble across some premature wrinkles, five extra pounds or a few stray gray hairs this morning? E-mail Elliot at eignasiak@wisc.edu and battle the inevitable onslaught of stress with his new ""de-stressing"" activities during your fall semester midterms.
