Dear Class,
Sorry to trouble you all. I know that getting all these e-mails is, like, getting reaallllly annoying, but I have missed class the last few times. I don’t really have a good excuse, but I could make one up if you would like. Anyway, I was wondering if anyone could send me some notes. This will be the last time I ask; I PROMISE! However, I can’t speak for my 298 other inconsiderate classmates who may attempt to waste your time, as I am now.
I know the exam is not for another three weeks, and I will be in class on Thursday, but the only way I can communicate today is through text messaging and computers; so, I am not sure how to ask just one student in person if they would e-mail me their notes.
Would I start by introducing myself, asking how their day was, making a remark about how this class is such bullshit or by trying to bond over shared stories of drunken mishaps? What if they thought I was secretly trying to hit on them under the radar? What if they then might ask me for my notes in return?
Truth be told I don’t actually take notes even when I do go to lecture. And usually I have an excuse not to look at them before the exam as well. (Seriously my life is so busy and stressful right now, uuugh you don’t even know.) But I like to have someone else’s notes on file, just in case.
Please understand that I just can’t possibly talk to someone I don’t know in class; however, behind the comfortable semi-anonymity of the Internet, I have no problem asking the entire class.
P.S. If you happen to use my e-mail to search for me on Facebook, you will find that I have no privacy setting whatsoever. Feel free to check out my profile and learn about the most intimate details of my life. Sometimes I can be shy, but once you get to know me, I’m really fun!
I love to travel, though the furthest away from home I’ve been is Flint, Mich. However, I feel like I traveled around the globe after reading “Eat, Pray, Love.”
You’ll see that one of my interests is meeting new people (at least on the Internet), so if you are still curious and there is anything more you want to know, just ask. :-)
With thanks and some thinly veiled sarcasm,
—Elliot
Tired of these obnoxious e-mails filling your inbox day in and day out? Then e-mail Elliot at ignasiak@wisc.edu and join him in relentlessly bashing them with biting sarcasm.
