The entire Wisconsin men’s hockey team has starved to death after an irate cutomer who was upset that all the guacamole in his burrito was concentrated in one spot, forced the Chipotle on State Street to temporarily shut down Wednesday.
“I don’t know what I’m going to do,” sophomore forward Michael Mersch said. “The Wisco boys get our burrito on everyday. So delicious. It’s all we ever eat. Their guac is sick.”
Members of the Badgers are some of the most frequent visitors to the Mexican food chain and often take to Twitter to express their excitement about their frequent State Street burrito trips.
“I like reminding my 344 followers that me and the boys are headed to Chipotle,” sophomore forward Keegan Meuer said. “They need to know how long the line we are waiting in is. Worth it though. Can’t go without our nine weekly trips to Chipotle.”
Former Wisconsin players like current Chicago Wolves forward Michael Davies took sympathy with the current members of the Badgers.
“You have to feel for those beauties up in Madison,” Davies tweeted. “Chipotle’s guac is crazy good.”
Sophomore defenseman Chase Drake and sophomore forward Sean Little, concluded that Chipotle closing had to have been the fault of their roommate, sophomore forward Jefferson Dahl.
“God Dahl sucks,” Drake said. “This Chipotle thing has to be his fault. Better chirp him a few more times on Twitter. Dahl is such a loser.”
It is not clear at this point how Chipotle’s closing will affect the future of junior defenseman Justin Schultz. #SchultzWatch
Since Chipotle’s closing the Kollege Klub bar has reported record profits as members of the Badgers have taken up residence there permanently.
