The Wikipedia page for metal group Gwar is minefield of absurd factoids and anecdotes about the shock-rock band from outer space that will bring their outrageous latex and styrofoam costumes to the Majestic Theatre's stage Monday night.
But more astounding than all of them – more eyebrow-raising than album titles like This Toilet Earth, and Bloody Pit of Horror, and more intriguing than the line “Gwar does not use syrups or stage blood because they dry solid and can damage the band's costumes” – is this: Gwar has been around since 1984.
One would think that shock-rock performed in massive costumes inspired by a backstory heavy on themes from H.P. Lovecraft would be a young man's game. But Gwar, probably the wildest and strangest band to ever play in this galaxy, are still at it after the better part of two and a half decades spent showering audiences with blood from a giant fake penis.
And we'll be able to see how their act has held up when they take the stage Monday night.
If you don't know who or what Gwar is, chances are you're a bit perplexed at this point. So let's step back and examine the basic facts of the band, as told in the “Mythos” section of their website:
Gwar is apparently an “elite group of chaos warriors” that once “ravaged the galaxy with a boundless hatred for all things alive.” These “Scumdogs of the Universe” were eventually banished to “the seething mudball known as Earth,” where they were awakened from an “ageless coma” by pollution, and set about performing “marauding mutant metal” for their human slaves.
Oderus Urungus sings, Balsac the Jaws of Death and Flattus Maximus are on guitar, Beefcake the Mighty lays down the bass and Jizmak da Gusha keeps time on drums.
Now, in case that somehow didn't make sense, here's the more Earth-bound history available on Wikipedia:
Gwar began in Richmond, Va., when the band Death Piggy decided to create their own opening act. In the 28 years since their debut, Gwar has rotated through dozens of members and recorded 12 studio albums, Bloody Pit of Horror being the most recent and the impetus for the tour that brings the group to Madison.
The group scored a pair of Grammy nominations, one for Best Metal Performance in 1996 and Best Long Form Music Video for 1993's “Phallus in Wonderland.” Members have been featured on any number of TV shows (their appearances with Jerry Springer and Joan Rivers are available to watch on YouTube), while younger audiences might remember them from stints on MTV's “Viva la Bam.”
Today, Gwar apparently specializes in over-the-top metal and political satire, because one clearly cannot stay in ridiculous costumes and spray blood everywhere without having a little fun with it.
So when you go to their show Monday night, chances are you won't be there for some high-quality tunes coming from Gwar – you'll be there for the absurdity of it all. And there's nothing wrong with that, of course, because after 25 years honing their blood-spraying and phallus-brandishing, you know Gwar will not disappoint.
