Erica,
My boyfriend is what you might call a “boob guy”… I’m a DD, [but] … I don’t exactly enjoy it when he plays with them. I don’t exactly dislike it either, but I’m writing to ask if there’s anything we can do to make it more enjoyable or pleasurable for me. Do you have any suggestions?
—Touching Isn’t Totally Satisfying
Hello, TITS.
I’m really tickled to see your question in my inbox. People ask me a lot of questions about how to pleasure their partners, but I rarely get asked about boobs or nipples specifically. That’s interesting, because everybody has nipples, and nipple stimulation is something that can be enjoyed by people of all genders and sexualities. If you want to get down and dirty with someone else’s nipples, or have someone get down and dirty with yours, first make sure your partner is warm enough. Cold nipples are sensitive in a distinctly not-good way so grab an extra blanket or turn up the thermostat.
Once your partner is nice and warm, spend some time in the non-nipple areas of their chest before going for the gold. Kiss all along the collarbones. Circle the nipples with the flat of your palm. Nibble along the curve of the breast. This is likely to be pleasurable in and of itself, and just like other kinds of foreplay, slow teasing allows your partner to start to ease into the enjoyment without being overwhelmed with full-throttle nipple stimulation right away.
Additionally, starting slowly may help you maximize your impact if and when you move on to the nipples. Stimulating the areas around the nipples will likely cause the nipples to become erect, and erect nipples are sensitive nipples. If you go for the gold right away, that effort may be wasted on nipples that simply haven’t been primed to fully enjoy that stimulation.
Once your partner is good and worked up, perhaps you’ll choose to focus directly on the nipple, which is very exciting, because as long as you’ve got permission, there’s not a lot you can’t do to a nipple. Try teasing it with your fingers, fingernails, lips, tongue, teeth or eyelashes. Bust out some feathers, silk scarves, ice cubes, leather gloves or a vibrator. Start softly, with just a brush of the fingertips or work up to an assertive squeeze that treads the line between pleasure and pain. If you’re interested in investing a little more into your nipple play, you could pick up some nipple toys. Nipple clamps are a classic breast toy and come in a variety of shapes, colors and styles. If it’s your first set, then it’s a great idea to get an adjustable pair which allows you to increase or decrease the level of “squeeze” depending on what you like and how long you’ve been wearing them. Generally speaking, it’s not a good idea to wear them for much longer than 20 minutes (no matter the level of squeeze) to make sure you’re not compromising blood flow.
Nipple pumps are also an option to increase enjoyment. Pumps use vacuum suction to draw blood into the nipple and enhance sensitivity. Some pumps are used before play begins to prime the nipples, and others are left in place for continued stimulation. As with clamps, be sure to limit play to 20 minutes at a stretch to ensure safety.
Finally, just because your partner is focused on your boobs doesn’t mean you can’t get any action elsewhere. See if adding masturbation or visual stimulation helps heighten your pleasure while your partner stimulates your nipples. Sometimes pleasure combos can be greater than the sum of their parts.
That’ll do it for Boob Sex 101, TITS—a full chest of pointers sure to help you rack up some points in the bedroom. Whether you’re an expert nipple player or total b00b, hopefully you’ll find some tips to help you knock ‘er socks off. Soon enough, you’ll be saying ta-ta to boring and having the breast sex you’ve ever had.
Questions? Comments? E-mail them to sex@dailycardinal.com.
