This week’s edition of Dirty Bird: Stuff people ask me on the weekends.
As you might imagine, my friends really enjoy talking about my writing job at parties. This is a short ‘Part 1’ of what that has transpired.
1. Under the influence, a guy at a party might often say “Alex, Alex… can you write a column about whiskey dick?”
Major turnoff.
But of course, it is a real problem for many male-bodied people (and the people they’re lovin’ on). Whiskey dick, for those who do not know, is a condition of temporary erectile dysfunction caused by too much alcohol in a person with a penis.
Whiskey dick is caused by alcohol disconnecting the penis and the brain. Thus, while alcohol has been found to heighten arousal and aggression in men, it causes the opposite in the peen. So sad.
So gentlemen, what can you do about vodka cock? One suggestion: If you plan on getting some, avoid getting so drunk that you can’t control normal bodily functions. Just try it, you might even find you can have fun with out having to get brandy phallus.
If that isn’t what you’re into, or you’re getting lucky unexpectedly, rum ‘rection can make for quite the awkward evening.
Although there aren’t any proven methods to combat it once you are already experiencing mixed-drink melancholy, the best thing to do is just be honest with your partner. Offer them other options; focus on pleasuring them, maybe a little oral here, a few fingers there. After all, even if the dick is down for the count, you still have hands and fingers! Just remember the risks that go along with oral sex and mixing fluids (hint, hint: grab some sex dams and condoms fo free at the Sex Out Loud office at the SAC!) Who knows, after fooling around for a while, maybe your brain will sync back up with your body. Cha-ching!
2. Direct quote, a guy, at a party: “Cuddling after sex. Why? I want to go to sleep, woman.”
Normally, my answer to this would be “don’t get me started,” but since this person is clearly not in the know, I’ll do my best to get it done. So, why do some female-bodied people like to cuddle after fornication? For a myriad of reasons, I would assume. However here are the facts: after orgasm, someone with lady bits can feel a surge of emotions that will make her want to be close to whomever she shared the experience with. Or maybe she just wants to be close to you? Is it because she’s in loooove?
Either way, if you are really set on going to sleep right after sex, let your partner know so that he/she doesn’t expect to be snuggly afterwards. Or maybe switch off; one night you spoon, the next you snooze, and so on and so forth. Just make sure that each person is getting a little bit (or a crap-ton) of what they want.
There are plenty of men who enjoy cuddling after sex, so don’t be discouraged by the quoted’s lack of enthusiasm. In fact, there are people of all genders (who enjoy all types of behaviors, from the most tame to the most exotic) who really love snuggling up to their boo after doing the dirty. If that’s something you like, there’s a person for you who will enjoy it as well, cross my heart. If not, that’s what compromises are for.
3. “Do you wanna get out of here?”
Come on, guys. Be suave. Channel your inner Bond. Also, no.
Per usual, Alex is here to answer any and all of your questions about sex. Just email her at sex@dailycardinal.com with any juicy queries, tips or requests. She would love to hear from you!
