I have a question for all of you readers. Is “Inglorious Basterds” a true story? Is “Cats and Dogs Two: Revenge of Kitty Galore” a true story? What about something a little more realistic; is Michael Moore’s “Sicko” a completely true story? Kind of… shown with a huge bias. So why would low budget pornography show the real story? After all, a lot of porn on the market is created for a very specific audience (horny men), and has one goal: sell, sell, sell.
I know, I know, so much porn is free. So is Facebook. That’s because we are the product. These websites make money by accumulating as many viewers as possible and selling our attention to advertisers. There are ads everywhere that an audience is present, so you don’t watch porn for free. If they aren’t selling you the product, they’re selling your time to advertisers.
I’m not sure how many of you have watched porn, though I would guess a good deal of my audience has at least taken a few ganders. For those who don’t know, graphic heterosexual interweb films usually follow the same “story;” an unrealistically “attractive” woman talks about how badly she wants the peen, a man with a miraculously huge dick shows up, she gives him head for an unrealistically long time and then he penetrates her vagina or anus for many, many minutes while she moans about how huge his cock is and how good he is at making her come.
An intelligent viewer would wonder how exactly this M.D. (mega-dick, pun intended) gets the voluptuous lady off without touching any part of her body, barring the occasional face and/or ass slap from his gargantuan willy. So, how do women in porn always orgasm? THEY DON’T.
I don’t want any person to fool him or herself about this. No matter how rough sex is during an X-rated film, the likelihood of her genuine O-face making an appearance is lower than 20 percent. The remaining 80 percent of women need so much more than just a good buggering to actually come, and the “more” can be as simple as incorporating either partner’s hands to stimulate the female-bodied person’s clitoris. More making out, foreplay, nipple stimulation and as much hand-to-body contact as possible is also helpful. Be grateful and generous to those who choose to sleep with you, and don’t take advantage of their genitalia (or brains)! Seriously.
Regardless, I have both female and male friends who complain about the porn predicament and what it’s done to our culture. I have even been told by one of my manpanions that porn affects men in the bedroom more than it does women. While my bias as a female is obvious, I can see his point of view. Of the women who watch porn, some may expect their men to last as long as those in the films, many of whom can seemingly keep it up for almost an hour.
But just like “Sicko,” these movies are edited to make the lasting powers of leading men look godlike. It’s possible that in between each position change, the male takes a twenty-minute break to prolong his orgasm. Some men do last as long as the pornos depict, but what everyone must keep in mind is that everyone is different. Just like we shouldn’t compare former lovers to current ones, we cannot compare ourselves as bedmates to the professionals. It’s just not fair.
Homosexual porn has similar misconceptions, and the industry pays actors more for anal scenes, which is why there are so many straight dudes in gay porn! Ever seen “Boogie Nights?” This scene is insincere as hell!
People of all genders and orientations should learn to appreciate their sack mates for the skills they bring to the bedroom instead of being disappointed with the skills they lack. Besides, that’s what teaching is for. If your partner’s love for porn kept him or her in the dark about what you need, point him/her in the right direction. Tell your lover what you need instead of presuming they will know. And men, if you’re really that concerned with your lack of lasting prowess, spend more time pleasuring your partner before intercourse so that you don’t leave him or her disappointed.
The message I’m trying to get across is a basic plea to everyone to learn what others like in bed and try to please your partner as best you can. I know that men have a bad reputation for only caring about themselves in bed, and I want them to really think about changing that frame of reference. Besides, if you treat your right-hand-replacement well in bed, that reputation will make its way around and more people will want on. Just be considerate, damnit!
Email Alex your questions, comments and suggestions at sex@dailycardinal.com. She would love to hear from you, and you may get your question answered in the paper!
