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The Daily Cardinal Est. 1892
Saturday, February 22, 2025

Fake News Friday: Union construction to undergo construction

The Boldt Company announced Thursday it would immediately begin construction on the construction of the Memorial Union Reinvestment  Project.

With worker morale flagging in the chilly Wisconsin air, workers have shifted their focus from overhauling the West wing of the Memorial Union to increasing comfort in the construction site. Both the city council and architectural firm Uihlein Wilson unanimously approved the new project, which will yield sturdier fences, repainted roadblocks, indoor bathroom facilities and a Burger King on site for worker usage.

“Maintaining high morale is essential when undertaking a huge renovation such as the Reinvestment Project,” said project manager Melanie Taylor. “Our workers will benefit from this construction on our construction, and will be eager in the spring to resume renovations on the Memorial Union.”

Despite the prospect of an increased workload, workers were enthusiastic about the changes.

“I’m definitely not going to miss the Port-a-Johns,” construction worker Dan Daly said. “It’s about time our bathrooms got an upgrade.”

And as workers cleared away rubble to make room for the site-exclusive fast food chain, Daly said he would feel “insanely reenergized chowing down on a Whopper.” The Burger King will be torn down in the spring to make room for resuming reconstruction of the Memorial Union.

Madison area politicians backing the project celebrated breaking ground by digging a new set of holes into the site.

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