Old college friends and pioneers for the single voice Kate Bolick and Michael Cobb spoke about embracing the single lifestyle at the University of Wisconsin-Madison Thursday as part of Humanities Without Boundaries lecture series.
Bolick, author of the 2011 contemporary piece “All the Single Ladies,” is a contributing editor for The Atlantic. Cobb, a professor of English at the University of Toronto, recently authored a book, “Single: Arguments for the Uncoupled.”
The talk, set up as a conversation between Bolick and Cobb, focused on being single and their fight to change the popular view that single people are lonely, desperate and selfish.
Cobb’s inspiration to write the book stemmed from his frustration with the lack of representation for the single life.
“No one believed us, that we loved being single,” Cobb said. “Nothing shows off the positivity of being single.”
Bolick attributed her decision to remain single to wanting independence. She said it was about “how to exist in the world and take care of myself.”
Cobb emphasized the expectations surrounding romantic relationships and highlighted their fragility, and suggested countering this by taking off the pressure and allowing people to breathe.
Both Bolick and Cobb stressed that they are not against marriage or romantic relationships, but rather want people to know being single is a viable alternative to marriage.
“We’re not against couples,” Cobb said, “What we’re worried about is the supremacy of marriage.”
Cobb and Bolick encouraged developing strong friendships and said they have the potential to be better relationships than romantic ones.
“Friendships flourish organically, whereas relationships have expectations,” Bolick said.
Bolick and Cobb acknowledged there are critics of this lifestyle, but underscored that many people are single and it should be embraced.
UW-Madison junior Leah Walkowski, among the more than 50 people that attended, said although she was not sure what to expect, she was surprised at the direction the conversation went.
“I was interested to hear they weren’t averse to romantic relationships in general, they support romantic relationships in their entirety, they just think friendships should be equally important,” Walkowski said.
