Dear Alex,
My girlfriend looked incredibly sexy in her Halloween costume, and I wish I could see it more than one or two nights every year. How can I get her to incorporate sexy outfits into non-holiday sex?
Thanks!
Smitten with my Sexy Kitten
First of all, shout out to all of the Halloweeners who did the walk of shame (or walk of fame, as I see it!) over Halloween weekend. I’m getting a group together to camp out on State Street next year and watch all of the in-costume ladies and gentlemen walk away from their decisions of last night. Any joiners?
The place that my mind will wander off to will be the bedrooms of these famees, where they will all hang up their costumes, perhaps never to be seen again by the outside world. However, why don’t people hold onto and utilize their costumes for a random night of sexy bedroom action? All those sexy fruits are ripe for the picking in this week’s breakdown.
On Halloween, everyone is trying to be ironic, funny, scary or uber hawt. Many Madisonians forgo the comfort of warmth and wellbeing for two nights just to impress some of their classmates and have a howling good time. Maybe some of that howling can come at other times of the year, if costumes are utilized to their full potential.
Besides, many of the costumes that female-bodied people wear these days can be incorporated into very erotic role-playing. For example, a “sexy nurse” and “doctor” costume is an easy way for some pre-med hotties to take a sensuous study break. There are many other options no matter what your choice of dress was (although I would skip pulling out the zombie goods in the bedroom), so get creative! Try using old witch or French maid costumes.
We can utilize this idea in more ways than just for visual stimulation. Why not take advantage and incorporate some new outfits in your “spice-it-up” routine? For example, a sexy nerd can quickly turn into a teacher-student fantasy.
How do we bring these ideas up to our partners? As one friend said to his partner, “Um… can we wear this outfit again? Soon?” I always suggest being up front about your desires—I know it can be uncomfortable to suggest an activity that seems out of the mainstream, but communication is key.
Bring this desire up to your partner (outside the bedroom, mind you) and let them know how sexy and beneficial it can be for both of you. No prefacing it with “you might think this is weird, but…” No! None of that shit. Let them know that you want to try it with enthusiasm! Say “here’s something I like, and I think you might be into it too.” By showing them the benefits of both parties, your lover will hopefully be as excited as you are.
If your significant other is unsure, tell them how much it will turn you on and why that will help them get off, too! If he or she is really reluctant, try starting slowly. Incorporate something little (maybe themed undies) and see if your boo has any interest in incorporating their fun print into your sexcapade. If not, perhaps let the idea lay for a while and see if they’re more favorable in the next few months. If they get pumped about the idea, however, go for it!
But Alex, what exactly is “role playing” and how do I “go for it?” Role-playing is an activity in which two or more people take on character roles to fulfill a sexual fantasy. Get creative!
Many of these fantasies involve domination, so make sure you create guidelines for your partner and yourself before engaging in anything that could trigger unwanted emotions. I’m not telling you to write up a “50 Shades”-esque contract (although feel free if you’d be more comfortable that way), but certainly talk about your parameters before engaging in these activities.
The most effective way to role play is usually by immersing yourself into your character. If one of you is giving an Acadamy Award-winning performance and the other is giggling and rolling around, it will just be awkward. Make sure you are on par with each other, whether you are both goofing around or taking it seriously.
Looking for a goofy point of reconciliation from this author? Here goes: A lot of the costumes we wear these days are expensive, so just think of this as getting a bang for your buck. Gosh I’m bad.
Remember Badgers, keep in touch and get your buck on! Reach me at sex@dailycardinal.com for all of your spookiest sex questions.
