Being single is nothing new for the typical college student. In our mad world full of tackling crazy course loads, maintaining hectic party lives and prioritizing Netflix marathons over healthy social interaction (that’s not just me that does that, right? Right?), many of us simply do not have time for relationships.
And most of the time, that’s great! Being single equates to less stress, less pressure to maintain adequate hygiene, and absolutely no guilt about letting people buy you drinks at the bar. Even Beyoncé exults in the glories of single life, and she’s one half of pop culture’s power couple.
But once again, just as it does every year, that one day that can be the single person’s undoing is fast approaching: Valentine’s Day. Valentine’s Day, with its saccharine sweet Hallmark commercials and two-for-one dinner specials, is on the march to make otherwise loud-and-proud singletons feel like they’ve lost the game. But fret not, my significant-other-less comrades. I’m here to tell you five reasons why being single on Valentine’s Day beats the crap out of the alternative.
1) With no pressure to find a date for the evening, you’re free to work Thursday night. And while that might not sound like the most appealing alternative, think of it this way: for those of us in the bartending or food service industry, working the Valentine shift means serving scores of couples, nearly all of which are going to include a nice young man trying desperately to impress his companion and show her what a super great, rich, generous guy he can be. And that means a hefty bill and a nice fat tip for the server, a.k.a. you.
2) Speaking of food on Valentine’s Day, every couple in the city will be scrambling for a reservation at some classy establishment for their Thursday night dining this week. That means less date-worthy fare like Wing Stop and KFC are likely to be deserted. No long lines, no waiting. It’s everything a girl can hope for.
3) Let’s be honest, Valentine’s specials are the life and blood of American television, and this year Nick at Nite is running a marathon of specials from your childhood favorites including “FRIENDS,” “Full House” and many more. Thank me later. (And I’m absolutely not saying that I watch “Glee,” but if I did, I would be ecstatic to inform you that this Thursday night’s episode is a Valentine special featuring Will and Emma’s wedding. There is no date in the world that could outweigh the emotional fulfillment achieved from watching that episode surrounded by your ladies. Possibly with ice cream.)
4) This Thursday night’s forecast predicts 13 degrees and snow showers. You could face that mess in uncomfortable heels and some sort of dress, sacrificing comfort and possibly a couple pinky toes to the snowy wasteland of Madison-—if you had somebody to impress. This single gal, on the other hand, plans on rocking a few layers of sweatpants that night. Preferably with unshaved legs underneath. Take that, patriarchy!
5) And finally, the coup de grâce to take down traditional Valentine’s Day forever: the Walgreen’s holiday aisle on February 15. Because do you know what you’ll find in the Walgreen’s holiday aisle on February 15? All the heart-shaped assorted chocolate boxes your little heart could ever want—FOR 75 PERCENT OFF. Valentine’s Day presents the perfect opportunity to cheat the chocolate system once and for all and stuff yourself with caramel-filled happiness. It tastes like independence. It tastes like victory. What more could you want?
What more do you want? Let Shannon know by emailing sekelly2@wisc.edu.
