After crushing first-round losses in both the men’s hockey and men’s basketball NCAA tournaments, Badger fans were left wondering what had happened. Was it just a bad night? Were the teams unprepared?
Well, after an investigation by the Wisconsin athletic department, it was revealed that each team was mistakenly sent to the wrong city and competed in the wrong sport.
While the men’s hockey team took to the court in Kansas City, Mo., the men’s basketball team hit the ice in Manchester, N.H. The results could not have been worse.
“I wondered why the ice felt so dry and, ya know, wasn’t fucking ice,” men’s hockey captain John Ramage said after his team fell to Ole Miss 57-46 in the NCAA basketball tournament. “We kept trying to score, but it’s really hard to get the puck into that tiny net.”
Although Wisconsin did not allow many baskets, they did receive an NCAA-record 25 goaltending calls, as sophomore goalie Joel Rumpel sat atop the Badger hoop in full gear and swatted away any ball he could get his hands on.
The results were equally disastrous for the basketball team, which lost to UMass-Lowell, 6-1. The players took to the ice in Manchester in nothing more than their traditional uniforms and left the arena after the second period, believing the game to be over after forty minutes.
Despite the lack of hoops and basketballs, senior forward Ryan Evans still shot a season-best 10-of-10 from the free throw line.
Head coach Bo Ryan took the loss particularly hard.
“I was sad because, if we had won, we would have gotten to play in Pittsburgh the following weekend,” Ryan said. “Pittsburgh is close to my home town of Chester, Pa. Have I ever told you about Chester? When I was in high school, I was the town’s best quarterback, point guard, referee, principal, math teacher, mayor… ”
Ryan went on for several minutes before he tore the head off a reporter who had started to snore and stormed off.
