An immense black cloud of sadness fell upon the shoulders of a growing segment of the University of Wisconsin-Madison student body following a return from spring break Sunday.
University Health Services reported a 200 percent increase in reported cases of Post-Spring Break Sadness Disorder this year after spring break ended.
PSBSD has affected students from all ranges of spring break experience, according to a UHS statement.
Sophomore Torrence Oilslager, who was in Panama City Beach, Fla., for his break, said he felt dizzy and nauseous after putting on long pants and closed-toed shoes.
“It felt unnatural and uncomfortable,” he said.
Junior Wade Reily, who spent the entirety of his spring break at home with his mother Barb in Oshkosh, Wis., reportedly cried after preparing some of his Our Family “DinoMac” mac and cheese for his first dinner back in Madison.
“It was supposed to taste ‘Diiiinoooo-riffic!’ but instead it has an angst-ridden flavor of sad,” Reiley said.
He said he became so re-attached to his mother he is considering commuting each day.
To reach out to affected students, UHS is increasing its PSBSD-targeted counseling services. There will be puppy litters April 1 from 7 a.m. to 11 p.m. in Gordon and Rheta’s dining areas.