So you’re coming to The University of Wisconsin, huh? Well, if you want to play ball with the big leaguers, you’re going to have to update your iPod with all the hippest, most sitcom-approved musical representations of collegiate life. For your listening pleasure, here’s a list of the most essential albums for any incoming freshman.
Murmur —R.E.M.
My dad tells me this is the definitive “college rock album,” so I should probably put it on here to maintain my indie cred (lest I get fired from my editor job). It’s a great party soundtrack; after all, there’s nothing people want to do more at get-togethers than stand around and “Talk About the Passion” or have a low-budget sepia indie-montage over incomprehensible jam “Catapult.”
Boys and Girls in America—The Hold Steady
Alcohol, parties, girls kissing boys, boys kissing girls and poetry—everything you do NOT want to be associated with in college. In fact, you should just treat The Hold Steady’s opus of infectious and obsessively wordy bar rock as a primer as to how you shouldn’t live your life. Only you can prevent epic nights!
Acid in the Style of David Tudor—Hecker
There’s nothing to kick off your collegiate career like an album with its head stuck so far up its own ass that its insert is a critical essay written by the auteur about the music he’s made. If you’re in it for the long haul, you better start digging deeper into abstract expressionist works of spastic electronic soundscapes, because once you hit senior year it’s all they play at parties and you don’t want to be the only one not singing along.
Monoliths and Dimensions—Sunn0)))
Now, I know what you’re all thinking, “Isn’t Sunn0))) that terrifying drone metal band whose members all dress up in robes, play a single sludgy note on guitar and then scream over it for 20 minutes at a time, all the while coaxing Satan himself into the realm of mortal men?” Well, maybe, but they’re also a great icebreaker band for all your future floor mates. There’s no better way to make friends than by blasting this on move in day!
Finally Rich—Chief Keef
Little known fact: Chief Keef, 17-year-old rapper with multiple arrests who was once sued for child support by a middle schooler, is actually the world’s youngest Harvard graduate. True story. Likewise, I can’t exactly prove this, but I’m fairly certain if you play his 2012 debut album backwards while simultaneously playing 2 Chainz’s Based on A T.R.U. Story, it will reveal to you the long sought alchemical method of turning trap music into gold, something good to know for any intro to Chemistry class.
Damaged—Black Flag
College is primarily a time when you’re allowed to break various things (be them possessions, your body or your parents’ bank accounts), so what better way to get in the spirit than listen to the ultimate “fuck you, smash things!” album? There’s nothing more hardcore than higher education, as Henry Rollins always says.
Is This It—The Strokes
College is a time for both mindless hedonistic bliss but also somber intellectual reflection on how, man, things just really aren’t as good as they used to be. Why can’t things be real, like they were back when our big siblings went to school in the early- to mid-2000s? That’s when life was really great. Hop on that nostalgia grind with The Strokes’ debut—a wholly original testament to the creativity of the noughties that will likely never be topped ever again because, dude, modern musicians just don’t get it.
