Deer Cardinal,
My roommate is kind of messy. It really bothers me when she doesn’t empty the dishwasher. What should I do?
—Wendy W.
Wishy Washy Wendy,
Is your roommate aware of the problem, or is she completely oblivious?
If she thinks everything is fine, bring the issue to her attention.
With dishes, this can be done easily. Simply unload the dishwasher while your roommate is home, making sure to slam the dishes down as you put them away. For added effect, drop large metal pots and pans, ideally on a linoleum floor. (Don’t do this with ceramic dishware, as you could cut yourself easily). Crank up some music and sing along loudly and angrily—for best effect, play death metal. This tells her, “I am doing the dishes; this is unpleasant,” clearly and straightforwardly.
Now, if she knowingly neglects her housekeeping responsibilities, you should do the following to help her understand how you feel.
To share your feelings, begin by putting away only your own clean dishes; leave hers in the washer. Once you have removed your clean dishes, load your dirty dishes into the washer. Then, leave her a concise note that reads, “Hey, IDK if you wanted to take your clean dishes out or not, so I just left them in there with my dirty ones. Do you wanna take yours out? :)” The note, especially because of the smiley face, tells her that you care about and respect her.
If neither of those suggestions work, your roommate is a disgusting slob with bad people skills, and you’re SOL :).
Ask the Deer Cardinal for advice by sending a carrier pigeon its way.
