Hi, I’m Lexi, and I am a recovering serial monogamist.
This sounds like an introduction to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, although instead of being addicted to alcohol I am addicted to relationships. I love being a girlfriend and I understand how to be with someone better than how to be on my own.
This is one of those “chicken or the egg” scenarios. I’m not sure if my relationship addiction is what has caused me to be in relationships the majority of the last seven years, or if being in relationships has caused me to become addicted to them. Regardless, being single is not a natural state of existence for me.
I have been single for the last nine months. That may not seem like a long time for most people, but it is an eternity for me. Nine months is by far the longest period of time I have ever spent alone since the eighth grade.
I started out as the typical middle-schooler with two-week relationships (which, of course, started and ended on AOL Instant Messenger), and spent time with my “boyfriends” by sitting next to them in the lunchroom. In eighth grade I had yet another crush on a boy who was in all my classes and he asked me to be his girlfriend. This all went down in the hallway of our middle school during passing time. We never went on a single date, and I’m pretty sure we had never had an extensive conversation up until this point. Romantic.
But, what should have been a two and a half week middle school relationship lasted for two and a half years. Eventually, I broke it off during sophomore year of high school. He literally could not have been any sweeter to me and practically worshipped the ground I walked on, but I felt smothered. Like please, give me some room to breathe.
Ultimately, I realized this middle school relationship had far surpassed its expiration date and knew it was time to let it go. I’m pretty sure his mother still hates me for that one considering she was convinced we were going to get married. Seriously. No middle school relationship should ever end in marriage.
After that I was on the market for one whole month. In that period, I met a guy who was a grade older than me; he took me on one date and BAM. Just like that I was back in the relationship game.
I didn’t know it at the time but he would turn out to be my “high school sweetheart.” I spent the next two years hanging out with him after school, watching all of his soccer games and spending weekends watching movies and going on late-night Coldstone runs. But then he graduated and went to college across the country and I stayed at high school in Wisconsin.
The whole long-distance thing really does suck as much as people say it does. I mean, there are only so many cross-country flights that could fit into my budget. And as college went on we both evolved into entirely different people. I watched him become a fratstar in front of my eyes. When he came back to our small Wisconsin town wearing red pants and v-necks, I knew the transformation had taken full effect.
But it wasn’t just him. By sophomore year I started to have my own life and was becoming increasingly less dependent on this relationship. Eventually, the inevitable happened and we broke up at the end of first semester.
During spring semester of college, in addition to my classes, I was taking Single Life 101 (and completely failed, so I’ve had to re-enroll).
It has been way too much for me to learn. I have struggled with probably the most simple of questions, such as: Do people still go on dates in college? Can you really meet your future husband at a party? I’m fully aware that a guy I’ve barely spoken to is not going to approach me in Bascom and ask me to be his girlfriend (middle school was a much simpler time) nor is a relationship going to form overnight, but the whole concept of dating in college makes no sense to me.
Recovering from serial monogamy is no easy task to accomplish, but I’m determined to live the life of a single college girl.
Bear with me as I share my trials and tribulations while trying to figure this whole thing out.
xoxo,
A Single Girl
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