Same-sex marriage rights remain one of the big social issues of the day. The biggest gay rights news in the United States in the last few months was the Supreme Court’s ruling that the Defense of Marriage Act is unconstitutional, which allows the federal government to recognize same-sex marriages performed in jurisdictions where they are legal. New updates include renewed attempts to finally get legal recognition of same-sex marriage in New Jersey and Illinois.
All of this sounds like we are taking good, positive steps toward the expansion of same-sex marriage rights to all U.S. jurisdictions, which we are. However, the various organizations and movements to legalize same-sex marriage nationwide need to be critically reconsidered and are quite frankly distractions from many other important issues pertinent to the LGBTQ community.
In fact, the politicizing, the fighting, the arguing, the opinion pieces, the Facebook profile pictures and campaigns must stop. Stop! I say.
For the record, I’m gay. Once, I was even one of the biggest flag waving, protest attending, vocal marriage rights activists around. Then I came to the realization that even though it is good for many to have these rights, it is fighting the wrong fight. It is a bit naive to think that by gaining same-sex marriage rights we will come ever closer to the solutions to the problems of discrimination and homophobia we are looking for.
Marriage, however, is only beneficial to certain segments of the LGBTQ community. That is, mostly the L, G and B and those who are privileged enough to concern themselves mostly with their marital status.
Again, this isn’t to say that gaining the right to marry your partner is inherently bad, but that perhaps it is time the LGBTQ community and its allies reconsider our priorities a little bit… or a lot. Same-sex marriage rights are expanding in the U.S. at a decent pace and with the marriage bills and movements underway in Illinois and New Jersey, the majority of major U.S. states will soon be places where individuals of all genders can marry individuals of all genders. Indeed, a large portion of the developed world has legalized same-sex marriage. The trends show movement in that direction. Therefore it may be time we reorganize and set our sights on new goals.
It is high time that the LGBTQ and allied community work to get the truly fundamental rights we deserve. Marriage is not a fundamental right. It is in fact not what defines us as human beings. Well-being and access to health care, education and the freedom to think and live as we wish are much more fundamental than marriage. The thinking seems to be that these will follow marriage, but it is the other way around. Marriage is not a guarantor of these things.
There are places in the U.S., including our neighboring state Michigan, where there are no employment or housing protections in place for LGBTQ people. And in even more places, protections do not exist for people who are trans or otherwise do not conform to the male-female gender binary. It does not address transphobia, which exists inside and outside the community.
Marriage also does not lead to lowering the rate of HIV transmission in the U.S. Men who have sex with men (MSM) account for the largest single demographic affected by HIV in the U.S. The rate of new infections even increased from 2008 to 2010. According to the Center for Disease Control, people who are Black MSM and Hispanic/Latino MSM are disproportionately affected by HIV.
Socially, the fight for marriage rights also limits the definitions of what ‘love’ is and what appropriate relationships are to a very specific context and type of relationship: traditional marriage. Not only does this mean that rather than take advantage of decades of experimentation and alternative types of relationships to critically examine the concept of marriage as a whole, a segment of the LGBTQ community and its allies have chosen to buy into a heteronormative and questionable institution—presumably because it is the most socially acceptable move.
This raises the questions as to whether society is changing to accept us for who we are or whether we, the LGBTQ community, are changing to become what society expects and wants us to be.
The gains are, of course, good, but the losses of these moves must also be considered. A segment of the community may be able to celebrate in style, but that means little for people who are at risk of becoming infected with HIV or who are already living with it. Homeless youth, yet another demographic of people who are disproportionately LGBTQ, do not get a roof over their head or a safe place to live. Nor does this solve the myriad set of problems facing LGBTQ people in places like Saudi Arabia, Russia or Uganda.
Often I see a sign from marriage rights rallies, which reads something along the lines of “Let us [people who are gay] get married, so we can be as miserable as the rest of you,” and it makes me think, if marriage is something that makes people miserable, why are we trying so hard to get it?
What do you think? Please send all feedback to opinion@dailycardinal.com.
