Feminism takes a lot of heat. It is a stigmatized word. Celebrities like Taylor Swift and Katy Perry refused to call themselves feminists. Even Beyoncé does not consider herself a feminist. I think the word feminist, like the term rape culture, has connotations that are warped from any recognizable definition. I am here to set the record straight. Feminism is nothing more and nothing less than the desire for equal rights and opportunities for men and women. It is about humanity, not hatred. Anyone calling their hatred for men “feminism” should probably just take a vow of silence. If you hate men, that is a personal problem, not a political stance. So stop using the word that way, and stop hating feminists because of it.
That said, I consider myself a feminist, and I notice when there are no lead female characters in a movie. I notice when my male boss is more lenient with a male coworker than he is with me. But I also notice when men are treated unfairly, and that happens a lot, too. I think my feminist friends, and especially people hating men, need to observe the times they have the upper hand.
I notice a lot of things I love to do that men just cannot do without judgment, and I care about that too. So I’ve compiled a bunch of fun things that I would love to see men have the equal opportunity to do.
Men are stuck with their appearance. I get to wear make-up, nail polish, push-up bras, heels and dresses that can be constructed to show off whichever body parts I choose while hiding ones I want. Men have shirts, pants and shoes. I can also dye, straighten, curl and style my hair in any way I choose. If I tell you to picture a man with dyed, straightened hair and nail polish a very distinct picture and personality probably comes to mind, and a judgment may or may not accompany it. It might be argued that women are expected to dress up and work harder on their appearance than men, but hey, I have the choice to upgrade my look and I would not give that up. I can cover acne, I can tan, and hide my weird wavy blonde locks under brown hair dye and a straightener. I’m sorry society doesn’t give men the freedom of appearance we women have. That being said, I am insanely jealous of beard-growing abilities.
I am allowed to love a lot of things that men are not. I learned recently that men taking selfies looks strange. We have somehow developed a culture in the last decade that makes it effeminate for a man to use something as seemingly gender-neutral as a small digital camera. Just last weekend I saw a high school musical and I could not help but wondering, “Who’s gay?” Men liking musicals, singing, or dancing causes a lot of oppressive, unnecessary sexuality inquiry, leading me into another restriction.
Oftentimes, men feel pressured to pick a horse in our society when it comes to their sexuality. We are coming to terms with titles within the LGBTQ community but few people consider the sexuality continuum yet. We are all on a sexuality spectrum. Some people will date anyone, some prefer men but will also date women...you get the idea. Today it is much more acceptable for a woman to have a “girl crush” or kiss her friend without anyone necessarily labeling her “gay.” A man having any attraction to other men is often considered gay rather than just being along the spectrum.
It seems like if a woman is an engineer or a mechanic or loves football she is praised. She is allowed to not care about any of those things. No one judges me for not being able to change a flat tire. Most people understand when I say I do not care about football and that I prefer wine to beer. I have a male friend who constantly pretends to care about football because he does not want to justify his indifference.
Gender roles are not about all women loving shopping or all men loving football. There are seven billion men and women on this planet and no one can convince me that common interests coincide with gender roles. Our culture simply has stigmas attached to a lot of behaviors that no one even thinks about. People need to stop thinking in terms of what girls or boys do, and drop the stigma. Be a feminist. Let people do what they want to do.
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