The piece written by a Duke University student/porn performer shocked the Internet for a few days and swept through our daily conversations. While many praised her writing and her confidence, I would like to urge everyone to get over the shock of pornography.
Pornography has become a major industry. People like James Deen, the porn star who visited the campus last year, claims he aspired to be a porn star since childhood. He also wanted to climb the porn industry ladder. He wanted to direct and produce as well as participate. Porn has an amazing amount of traffic on the Internet. According to an article from The Huffington Post, porn sites generate more traffic than Netflix, Amazon and Twitter combined. That is a serious amount of views.
That amount of traffic is not just from the same dozen guys. The same article claims 70 percent of men and 30 percent of women watch porn. Therefore any woman who is shocked or angered at finding out her new boyfriend likes to indulge in the occasional porn site should probably get over it. He is not sick, disgusting or trying to insult you. He is a human with Internet access.
Pornography has maintained its legality due to free speech and obscenity avoidance. Many people in the industry consider it an art form as well as a way to pay the bills. Art or not, let’s face it: It is used for the viewer to masturbate.
Masturbation, like pornography, has a history in our culture that focuses upon secrecy, shame and personal harm. A hundred years ago masturbation was considered extremely unhealthy, causing things like dull eyes, acne, memory loss and divorce for women. Now we are far more accepting. One Men’s Health article gives a great list of health benefits to masturbation. They claim a little self-help can boost immunity and mood, prevents cancer and helps men last longer in bed.
Pleasuring one’s self is still nothing to brag about in our society, but here is a secret: We almost all do it. In one Human Sexuality lecture here on campus, a class was surveyed about their sexual history. One of the most interesting statistics showed nearly 100 percent of the men in the class masturbated, about 60 percent of the women did. While that is not a perfect sample size, it is still a powerful number.
Women who find porn disgusting might just be a little too uncomfortable with their own sexuality, and to them I suggest checking out a few different genres, directors or stars. I do not personally believe in “female friendly” porn, but porn definitely qualifies as a something-for-everyone commodity. Try watching porn with your significant other. It might inspire some new things to try or just get the two of you in the mood if you are in a sexual lull.
Porn use can be overdone. There are plenty of people who watch porn every day; some even prefer porn to in-person sexual interaction. Porn can damage a relationship or prevent one if this happens to one partner or the other. If you notice a dip in your partner’s sex drive there is a chance an increase in porn use is to blame.
That said, it is unlikely. If you are in a relationship, have a conversation about porn and be honest about your usage, preferences and comfort levels. It will help your relationship in the long run and it is nothing to be ashamed of. Yes, anyone can overindulge in porn use, but it cannot be compared to alcohol use. Maybe a person might be healthier if they never used it, but, in moderation, it has some great health benefits. It is a normal part of our culture. Addictive personalities have trouble with it, but recognizing that between yourself, your partner or even roommate (awkward) this is something to note and talk about so the overindulgent one can be helped. Some people overdo the good stuff in life; everyone else can feel free to click on the occasional raunchy video without having to feel guilty or ashamed.
