The cold is finally beginning to dissipate, the sun is coming back out and spring break is here. That means one thing: Clothes are coming off! Time to begin welcoming the season of shorts, tanks and cute swimsuits. But let’s be honest with ourselves, this sometimes has to do as much with practicality as with attracting potential partners. And during spring break festivities, these are more likely short-term sexual partners.
Today I’m going to answer some common questions useful for spring break time.
My partner said they’re too big for condoms, is that possible?
No. The answer is no. And if anybody says they are, they’re lying. No person is too big for a condom. The FDA requires that all condoms sold in the USA meet rigorous standards, one of which is elasticity. Condoms can easily be pulled over somebody’s fist, and all the way down the forearm, to the elbow, before breaking. So unless we’re into some really deep fisting, nobody is too big for a condom. Now, some people might find small- or standard-sized condoms uncomfortable or constricting, which is why large and even extra-large condoms are produced. Others might find standard sizes too lose, so there are snugger fit condoms too. It’s best to try out a few sizes, materials and styles before we settle on one we like. But it’s important to be honest with ourselves and go with a style that is both comfortable, but also has a proper fit.
Free condoms are available at the Sex Out Loud office. Sex Out Loud is located on the third floor of the Student Activity Center, 333 East Campus Mall. Visit Monday through Friday 11 a.m.-6 p.m. to stock up for spring break on more than a dozen types of condoms available including non-latex, snugger fit, L and XL and receptive condoms.
What should I do if I get off my birth control routine?
If for some reason you get out of your birth control routine, the best thing is to start up where you left off as soon as possible. It’s usually better to do this if it’s been less than 48 hours since last taking your birth control. It might cause a day or two of readjustment, but just use alternative birth control methods, such as condoms and other barrier methods in the meantime. If it has been more than 48 hours, it’s necessary to fall back on alternative barrier methods, and you should contact a medical professional. If you’re using any kind of birth control, it’s recommended to still use condoms and other barrier methods, because those prevent against coming into contact with an STI.
It might not be a bad idea to pick up emergency contraception from UHS prior to departure. It is also available for free at Planned Parenthood.
Can I get/give consent if I’ve been drinking?
This is a good question. Let’s review the definition of consent: Consent is defined as a clearly and freely given, informed and enthusiastic “yes,” not the absence of a “no.” Now we can talk about what to do if we’ve been drinking.
It’s totally possible to ask for and give consent if we’ve been drinking. We all know it doesn’t take one beer or mixer to get to the point where we’re going to black out. There is a period after we’ve begun drinking during which we can still definitely give consent. However, it’s recommended not to proceed if we’re unsure about a person’s ability to make an informed decision. Asking ourselves if we would let this person drive us home is a good way to decide if somebody is capable of giving consent or not.
Drugs and alcohol are both intoxicants and can be used as a means to coerce somebody into giving consent they might not otherwise give.
Consent isn’t about just getting one answer at the beginning though. A better way to talk about it is as “continuing communication.” This means we continuously ask our partner how they feel about things, if they want to continue, do something different or try something. Enjoy what’s going on while expressing our desires and our opinions as well.
Now friends, with these little reminders, leave Wisconsin and spread the good word of our land: beer, cheese and good sexual health.
Over spring break, think of some sex questions for Michael. Send your inquiries to mpodgers@wisc.edu.
