I feel like ninety-five percent of the things that one can possibly say about the debate on same-sex marriage have been said too many a time, and will be repeated over and over again. And like most things in American politics ( or all politics in general), the debate on same-sex marriage in Utah has a glaringly obvious, commonsensical answer that really isn’t as difficult as everyone is making it out to be—just legalize it.
But oh well, call me pessimistic and cynical, the unfortunate reality of the situation is that in this time, the debate on the legalization of same-sex marriage, will probably continue to oscillate between yes and no.
Indeed, one might say the legalization of gay marriage in 17 states is a considerable step towards the right direction, and it most definitely is. There almost seems to be some glimmer of hope that somehow society is becoming more progressive, and the definitions of family and how we live might be evolving. However, the thing about politics is that voter dynamics will continue to change. Most things are ephemeral and eventually, sometime down the road, someone will come up with some new way to try and stop legalization of same-sex marriage. Then the cycle begins itself again. It is a dismal prospect indeed, and I sincerely hope I am wrong.
There are people out there who will fight you to their last breath over the definition of the term marriage, citing this scientific authority and that spiritual authority. It is an endless tussle for the LGBT community, struggling with their marginalization.
Throw out the plethora of statistics, throw out all the data and technicalities, and let’s get to the heart of the issue. Two people are in love and would like to get married. They would like to start a family, and be sure that the home they are about to build for themselves is protected, that they have the same rights as everyone else and are treated as equals in the community they live, contribute and belong to. And society is telling them no. There is clearly something wrong here.
What does the need to even have to debate the legalization of same-sex marriage say about society?
French feminist and thinker Simone de Beauvoir brought up the concept of how identity is forged from knowing and being aware of those different from you. If we become self-aware by highlighting differences between ourselves and other groups, then marginalization is inherently second nature to us. Add this to the fact that we live in a self-centered world that lacks empathy and, Bingo—therein lies the problem. People are so blinded by their own beliefs that they uphold to be all that is true, that they have been afflicted with tunnel vision. You see only what you want to see, all else is false and wrong. Those who are steadfast in their beliefs on what marriage is and what is stands for will fiercely defend these opinions because that is the only truth they want to know.
So what is the best course of action?
Ideally, we should take a more existentialist approach to this. It is the individual’s choice who he or she decides to love and marry. We should have neither the responsibility nor right to interfere. But of course that is not how society works. If people were a lot more tolerant, then maybe there would be a lot less problems in the world.
Realistically, all one can do is hope. Hope that with greater education and awareness, people will take a greater step toward tolerance, and hope that this tolerance paves the way for acceptance. And then maybe, just maybe, 17 will not be the final number.
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