With the end of September at our doorstep, midterm season is starting up (boo) as well as Big Ten conference play (yay?). Here are five things we learned about our begrudgingly beloved conference in this tumultuous month.
1. The Big Ten will not have a team in the inaugural four team playoff.
The Big Ten is a flaming pile of crap. With the lone exception of Indiana’s strange victory over Missouri (more on that later), the Big Ten scored zero big nonconference wins, with Michigan State getting blitzed by Oregon in the second half for a loss, and Wisconsin failing to hold on to what should have been an impressive victory over LSU. Ohio State was also upset at home by Virginia Tech. The last remaining undefeated team in the conference is Nebraska, who will travel to Michigan State where they will be heavy underdogs. Even if Ohio State, Michigan State or Wisconsin win out, the lack of a quality win outside of beating up on a bad conference makes their chances of making the playoff miniscule. The only way the Big Ten gets a representative in the playoff will be if Nebraska wins out and finishes undefeated, about as likely as me running a four minute mile (I can’t even crack six).
2. Nebraska, Wisconsin, Michigan State and Ohio State are the only teams with a chance of winning the conference.
Most analysts had these four teams as co-favorites for the conference at the beginning of the season, but the chasm between them and the rest of the conference has only seemed to widen since the season started. Iowa was thought to have been a dark horse contender for the West division, but a loss at home to a bad Iowa State team has effectively ended those dreams. Penn State also started getting some hype, only to get demolished at home by a mediocre Northwestern squad. The only other program that even deserves mention right now is Maryland, whose lone loss was a nail biter to a better-than-advertised West Virginia team. We will quickly learn more about their fate this weekend as they face off against Ohio State, but as of now, those four are really the true contenders.
3. Indiana is madness.
The one thing I have learned about Indiana is that I have no idea what kind of football team they are. In their second game of the season, they lost a close game to a Bowling Green team that allowed over 600 rushing yards to Wisconsin a week later. Indiana head coach Kevin Wilson then recruited the aliens from Space Jam for a week as the Indiana Monstars beat Missouri, one of the favorites for the SEC East after beating South Carolina, on the road in what has to be the most confusing outcome of the season. The aliens then had to return home I guess, as the Hoosiers we all know and love to beat up on returned in a rout against Maryland. Seriously, if anyone has a better explanation than the Space Jam story, please let me know.
4. Brady Hoke is a dead man walking.
Michigan might be in the midst of its worst season ever, and the fall man is going to be head coach Brady Hoke. This team might set new standards of awful for a once proud program. Seriously, after the Wolverines got humiliated at home by Minnesota, I don’t know if Michigan will win a conference game this season, with its best chance coming at home against Indiana, who might have the Monstars down for another official visit that weekend. Brady Hoke, it was nice knowing you.
5. The Big Ten is a quarterback wasteland.
If you can name all of the starting quarterbacks in the Big Ten, I will name my first born after you. Besides Connor Cook of Michigan State, no other quarterback in the Big Ten is close to getting drafted by the NFL right now. Part of the reason why the Big Ten has been so mediocre has been the conference’s lack of talent at the most important position on the football field. Even Penn State’s young and promising Christian Hackenberg is in the midst of a sophomore slump after an impressive freshman year. If the Big Ten wants to turn it around as a conference, it will need to bring better arms into the Midwest.
Think you have a better Big Ten lesson than Rushad? Think we should cut Brady Hoke some slack? Let him know at machhi@wisc.edu.
