As students exhaust themselves with late nights at the library in the midst of midterm season, one UW-Madison undergraduate combats an entirely different source of stress.
Sophia Carter, whose name has been changed for this article, has been repeatedly homeless for the past four years.
Carter’s father abandoned her family when she was only six years old, leaving her mother alone to raise three children in the suburbs of Milwaukee.
Though Carter and her two older brothers were exceptional students throughout grade school, financial circumstances at home haunted their livelihood.
For instance, Carter was part of a free lunch program in middle school, which provided its recipients with different colored lunch tickets.
This gave Carter’s peers an easy way to recognize and target her disadvantage and as a result, she says she ate many of her lunches in the bathroom.
This stress was only compounded when it came time for her to go to college.
“As soon as I turned 18 my mother said, ‘Now you’re God’s child, good luck,’” Carter said.
Carter first became homeless in the fall of 2010 during her first semester at UW-La Crosse and became accustomed to “couch-hopping.”
She was then diagnosed with bipolar disorder during her junior year.
“[Homelessness] exasperated what my disorders were,” Carter said. “I got really ill. I didn’t really have a concept of reality.”
The following year, Carter transferred to UW-Madison and signed for an apartment on State Street.
For the first time in three years, she had a space of her own and admits it came as a bit of a culture shock.
She never unpacked her suitcase for fear that she would be forced to move again and she recalls rarely wanting to leave the apartment.
“I was so in love with the idea of having space,” Carter said.
But the deep retreat into her new home had consequences; Carter seldom attended classes and was put on academic probation.
Carter resolved to improve and returned for the spring semester with renewed optimism.
Soon after classes began, Carter got a phone call from the police saying her eldest brother had been in a car accident.
Her brother, a diagnosed schizophrenic, had developed a heavy drinking habit over the previous months and had gotten behind the wheel while intoxicated.
Though he was uninjured, Carter advised the police to involuntarily commit her brother to a mental institution because she thought he was a danger to himself and others.
The stress and concern she felt toward his situation took its toll.
“That semester, I responded 24/7 to my feelings and to my fear,” Carter said. “I couldn’t take my exams, I couldn’t write my papers.”
Carter is more academically successful this semester but said it is not without challenges.
She was recently informed that her lease was terminated and she returned to sleeping on couches.
Her dual experiences as a student and a homeless individual in Madison have offered her a unique perspective on the privilege that is a college education.
“When I see people down the street with their Starbucks and their tablet and their Beats by Dr. Dre, and they’re stepping over other people sleeping and hanging out on the sidewalk,” Carter said. “When do you realize that you are one and the same?”
Carter said she has been unable to secure stable housing primarily because the UW-Madison Financial Aid Office only offers her semester-long aid.
Therefore, Carter cannot sign a 12-month lease because she never knows if she will be able to afford it six months down the road.
The constant uncertainty is a perpetual source of anxiety and frustration.
“I would just like someone to think of me as an investment for the first time in my life and not a risk,” Carter said. “I get that I have the potential to fall, but I’d like to think that I also retain a potential to succeed a lot higher.”
Now Carter has her sights set on a UW-Madison degree; a goal most students never doubt they’ll attain, but Carter’s journey has been full of trepidations.
She said receiving her degree would validate all of the adversities she endured to put herself through college.
“I’ll feel like I’ll look over my shoulder and see Everest behind me, and know I just made it,” Carter said.
