Almalent begins tomorrow and continues for 11 lunar eclipses (or until a calico is born from tabby parents). It’s difficult to decide what you want to give up for the duration of the celebration so the Almanac staff has put together a few suggestions to make things easy.
1. Your virginity
2. The love of one parent
3. Your Thursday guy
4. Oxymorons
5. Oxycotton
6. Oxford Commas
7. OxiClean
8. Oxens
9. Ox cords
10. Reading unprofessional, sensational GARBAGE (see: Almanac, page 2)
11. Secondary or
tertiary chins
12. Rape culture
-Alex Tucker
13. Pacifiers
14. Wet dreams
15. Bees
16. The last piece of pie
17. Using prepositions [in] your speech
18. “Nibbling”
19. Your exoskeleton
20. Piracy
21. Your “EZ-Mode” switch
22. Bacteria
23. Blinking.
Seriously, try it.
24. Your security
deposit
-Dylan Anderson
25. Manners
26. Methamphetamines
27. Metamorphoses
28. “Hannity”
29. The Number 12
30. Praying to the
Human Cardinal
31. Hysterics
32. Shoplifting
33. The answers for today’s homework
34. The answers for tomorrow’s homework
35. Joy
-Andy Holsteen
