51—Nero, future emperor of Rome, is given the title of “Head of the Youth,” which explains how he got into politics.
1493—Christopher Columbus returns to Lisbon, Portugal after voyaging to what’s now known as the Bahamas. In 2015, we’re still telling school children he discovered the area that’s now the United States.
1675—John Flamsteed is appointed England’s Astronomer Royal for discovering the moon.
1681—Charles II grants William Penn the land that eventually becomes Pennsylvania, which all seems reasonable.
1865—The Confederate States adopt their third official flag. This was all part of their elaborate strategy to lose.
1945—Finland declares war on Nazi Gemany, just in time to take all the credit.
1974—People magazine is first published in the United States, ushering in a new area of completely useless information pandering to the lowest common denomintator.
