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The Daily Cardinal Est. 1892
Sunday, December 22, 2024
A realistic "President Sanders' costume is sure to scare the pants off of the average American.

'President Sanders' Halloween costume too extreme for average American

Bernie Sanders tops a list of shocking and controversial costume ideas for Halloween 2015, beating out Sexy Hillary, Sexy Caitlyn Jenner and Sexy European Refugee for the top spot among college students.

Mr. Sander’s “socialist” designation and leftist policy proposals have been considered far outside the norm for American politics, leaving many average Americans confused and appalled as the costume choice continues to gain support over its rivals.

“Every year these costumes get more and more over the top,” claims local dad Mark Frimpy. “Everyone should just take a chill pill.”

Others simply express confusion: “I just don’t get the joke,” claims local mother of three, Janet Jones. “I guess it’s supposed to be ironic. Like that movie about the people getting their mouths stitched to other people’s butts, sort of all in a row. Did you see that one?”

This controversy comes at a time of great uncertainty about the nation’s future, punctuated by a reignited discourse on the status of some long-held beliefs. Long considered a politically incorrect and derogatory term, “socialist” seems to be losing its negative status, joining the ranks of words like “crapulous,” “niggardly” and “assart” as having been previously misunderstood.

“I thought we beat the socialists during the cold war and they turned into Muslims. Now they’re back?” claims local racist John Shaw.

Of course, not all students support the costume choice: “No, I wouldn’t be caught dead dressed as a socialist president,” claims sophomore Julie Hertz. “Our sorority is all going as the human centipede.

Halloween is this Saturday, Oct. 31.

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