I am a huge rock ’n’ roll fan, always have been and always will be. It is the music that I grew up on and that I primarily listen to now. And because I am such a fan of the genre, I am usually up to listen to most songs that fall within the genre, but not every artist satisfies my musical taste. Such an example would be Parquet Courts’ new EP “Monastic Living.” I enjoy almost all types of music, since I believe that it is such an important expression in our culture; I did not enjoy “Monastic Living” to say the least.
When I was assigned this review I had to look up Parquet Courts because I had never heard of them before. From what I could gather through friends and the Internet, the band appears to be heralded for sounding different and not really caring for what people thought about their music. After several very painful listenings of "Monastic Living" I am genuinely confused on how anyone could seriously listen to their music. If this is supposed to be some type of art-music, then I am deeply uncultured.
The EP begins with an incredibly rude sounding “No, No, No!” during which I realized this was going to be a rough time. The lead singer, Andrew Savage, is absolutely impossible to understand during this song. I had to literally pause the song and open up a new tab in order to have any idea what was being said. It sounds like Parquet Courts are trying to sound somewhat like a combination of rougher, more punk version of the Sex Pistols and a even more hipster, if possible, Lou Reed; two musical acts that I really enjoy. This attempt fails miserably on “Monastic Living.”
On the second track of the EP, “Monastic Living I,” it sounds as if the band is befuddled with their instruments. This six-and-a-half minute song is a struggle to endure. It sounds similar to songs that a friend and me made in high school using GarageBand and a drum from a Yamaha keyboard. This and every other song on the EP sounds as if the members of the band do not really play their instruments to the high level of a band that has two and a half million plays on their top song on Spotify.
The only redeeming song off of this EP is the seventh song, “Alms for the Poor.” It is the only song on which every instrument feels somewhat subdued. The bass actually sounds rather superb on this track and fits extremely well with the percussion. The guitar may be a little scratchy for personal preference but this song is actually rather catchy. The sad thing is that the track is only 45 seconds long.
The biggest turn off for me on this record is the quality. I honestly believe that this was recorded in an acoustic nightmare with terrible recording equipment and the engineer being my 4-year-old self. Every instance of sound on this EP has a very similar feel in the back of the listener’s spine to fingernails being dragged ever-so-slowly down an old school chalkboard.
I could imagine that a Parquet Courts concert in a small and intimate venue would be a really good time, only if you were willing to ruin a shirt and jeans with sweat and everything that comes with moshing. But when it comes to CD-quality music, I would highly recommend staying the hell away from “Monastic Living.”
Grade: D-
