I know I originally wrote that I was going to devote my column this week to Aaron Moesch. As interesting and entertaining as that would have been, it will have to wait for another time. This is because something extremely important happened between our win versus Ohio State and the present moment: team bowling.
Now I know what you’re thinking: “What’s so special about bowling? I remember going to the bowling alley during a second-grade field trip and destroying my classmates because I had above average hand-eye coordination and wanted to show off for the cute girl I chased around at recess.”
And while that may be true, bowling changes to a new form of competition after puberty. It especially changes when you go bowling with some of the most competitive and athletically gifted humans at this university. The setup last Friday was simple: four teams consisting of four players each playing against one another in a single-elimination tournament.
The teams were as follows: Team One: Van Vliet, Iverson, Moesch and Happ; Team Two: Ferris, Illikainen, Schlundt and Decorah; Team Three: Bax, Hayes, Hill and Pritzl; Team Four: Koenig, Thomas, Showalter/Brown and Smith.
The first round consisted of Team One versus Team Two and Team Three versus Team Four. Winners went on to play each other in the championship, and losers competed in a third-place game.
I’m not going to give a complete play-by-play of the entire afternoon because A: I don’t remember and B: I don’t know if play-by-plays exist for bowling. Nonetheless, there were a few highlights and takeaways.
First and foremost, I’ll play spoiler by saying that Team One won the whole thing. They were not only the most balanced team, but had a strong leader in Moesch and possibly the best overall bowler in Happ. I say “possibly the best overall bowler” because I strongly contest this claim. Ethan scored higher than me over the course of the two games. (He bowled something around 135 and 120.) However, I’m going to be biased and claim myself as the best bowler on the team. Sure, I may have only bowled an 84 in the first game. And sure, second-grade Matt probably had a higher score on the field trip. But as all athletes say, it’s not how you start but rather how you finish.
I finished the day with a 129 in the third-place game, and simple linear mathematics show that had I bowled two more games, I would’ve ended with a whopping 219 in that fourth game. For those counting back home, that score, while absolutely impossible and misleading, would’ve put me in 24th place in the PBA World Championship, according to their website. (Yes, I looked that up.) And if that’s not impressive, I really can’t tell you what is.
In all honesty, the bowling trip was an excellent source of team bonding. Once the Big Ten season rolls along, basketball fills almost every day. This gave us a chance to relax and rest our bodies while at the same time working together with one another.
Hopefully we have energy to spare and keep our minds out of the gutter as we strike out our next opponents. I’m not sure I framed that correctly. Oh well.
