Women’s issues. Sexual assault is a women’s problem. Why are so many women being sexually assaulted? Why don’t we educate women on how to protect themselves?
Do you see a problem with those statements? At no point was the focus on men. Not at one point did we address the fact that gender-based violence is not only a “women’s problem,” but also a male’s.
Placing a problem on a singular group of people gives the other group a reason to ignore it. If we start by saying that gender-based violence is only a women’s issue and we need to teach women how to be safe, we are simply victim blaming. We are giving men a reason to ignore the issue completely. We are giving them an out. Men are seeing this problem as something they don’t need to be concerned with because it is labeled as a women’s issue.
The problem with all these sentiments is the fact that they are not new. Everything I just said is not groundbreaking news. Women have been saying this for centuries, and we are lucky for that. We are lucky to live in a society that has so many powerful female figures. The issue is that men don’t listen.
Men don’t listen to these women because these women are feminists. Even typing the word, I can imagine some men will cringe at just the sight of it. Some men hear the word feminist and roll their eyes because they believe feminists are just male-bashing, men-hating, crazy hippies. And by categorizing them as such, we feel safer just telling them to sit down and shut up because “feminism is about equality of genders, and you can’t hate on men if you’re a real feminist.”
These women aren’t male-bashing, they are telling the truth. And by telling them to sit down and shut up, we are just perpetuating the idea that men don’t need to think about gender-based violence because it’s a “women’s issue.” Except it’s not—men need to start realizing that gender violence is a men’s issue, and we are the ones that need to change.
Even in the case of sexual assault of males we see men absolving themselves of responsibilty. A lot of men like to use the argument that “men get assaulted too,” which they do, and it is something important that needs to be addressed. Except here’s the problem: It’s still a men’s issue. According to livingwell.org, the majority of sexual assaults against men are committed by heterosexual men. So even when men are the victims, they are usually the perpetrators.
Recently we saw the rise of #NotAllMen, a hashtag used by men to defend the fact that not all men participate in gender-based violence. The problem with this hashtag is the fact that women already know this. People are aware that not every single man partakes in gender-based violence, but they also can’t tell the difference between someone who does and someone who doesn’t.
Take me for example: I am a 6-foot-5 white male. On multiple occasions when I have been walking home late from a friend’s house or the library, I have seen women also walking home alone. Many of these times they have either crossed the street or visibly looked on edge because I, a large male, was walking behind them. These are not the situations that men should be angry about. In this situation it is only obvious to me that I am not going to assault these women. I shouldn’t be angry at them for glancing over their shoulder at me; instead I should be angry that we as a culture have made being a woman and walking home alone at night such a daunting and frightening task.
Taking that into account, we can now see that men should have a direct interest in solving the issue of gender-based violence, and it’s one of the reasons we need to start speaking out. Jackson Katz, an American educator, coined something called “the bystander approach.” What Katz is trying to do with this approach is change the male culture, change the way that we interact with each other. Instead of hearing other men say something sexist and not giving it a second thought, we need to challenge them. We need to stop them, inform them, change how they see themselves in relation to gender-based violence. Katz says that we shouldn’t want to change this culture “because it’s illegal, but because it’s unacceptable and morally wrong.”
Some men on campus have already taken a step in the right direction, starting with the organization Men Against Sexual Assault. But this issue should not fall on just their shoulders. It should instead fall on the shoulders of all men. We should all realize that there is something we need to start doing. Whether or not you have ever witnessed gender-based violence is beyond the point. The point is that you, as a male in society, need to change the way you see male culture and the stigma surrounding gender-based violence, and help change the way others see these things.
My point is this: I understand that gender-based violence is a larger cultural issue, and not every man takes part in it. However, a lot of men think that just because they are not the ones jumping out in the middle of the night to attack someone they can just ignore this issue. No longer can we think like that. Men need to understand that there not only is something we can do, but something that we should do.
Cal is a sophomore majoring in political science. What do you think we need to do on campus to prevent sexual assault? Please send all comments to opinion@dailycardinal.com.
