Doesn’t it seem like everyone around you has their life so much more figured out than you do?
I know I’m supposed to be much more confident about everything I’m doing today and will do tomorrow, but I’m not.
’m not sure if I’ll have friends or not, I don’t know if I’ll get the best grades or not, I don’t know if I’ll join the student organizations I should or not.
I am trying so hard to be in love with the “college experience” that I can’t let myself believe for even two seconds that I’m just a little lost and just a little scared.
College for most of us means a new city with new people, on top of pursuing education or preparation at an exceptionally challenging level. There isn’t only workload, but the social, economic and involvement pressure of these four years that simply drops on us, all at once.
However, it seems almost impermissible to show my struggles with these heavy responsibilities outside my choice of music and my wandering mind.
Most people feel overwhelmed with the pressure of seeming like they are living their best lives and having everything sorted out.
This transparent contest that everyone seems to participate in has no prize other than feeling disappointed and sleep-deprived.
Being vulnerable is okay.
People need to know that they are not alone in their feelings of vulnerability and confusion. The person next door might seem like she or he is always studying, going out and doesn’t want to be bothered, but actually is trying just as hard to do college right as you are.
It is always important to keep in mind some core ideas when you are feeling down or are comparing yourself to others. First, every individual here is different and will have different versions of an ideal life. Second, being by yourself for a few hours isn’t sad, but actually healthy. And third, you are not required to get it right on the first try.
This only means you don’t need to feel obligated to seem impressive to everyone around you, sitting in your room for a while is actually quite a comfortable experience, and you are bound to fail at life a few times. I wish there wasn’t such a stigma around not feeling like you’re having a good time because while college is boasted as the best four years of your life, it is also the first major change in lifestyle most of us experience.
Living by ourselves and making our own choices — going out or staying in, doing laundry, joining certain student organizations, staying up late or sleeping early, choice of what to eat — it’s all on us for the first time.
People try to dismiss the importance of these basic decisions, not realizing just how happy one can be if they eat healthy, wear completely clean clothes, don’t have a hangover on a Sunday and speaking out loud that they’re confused.
We go to school on a big campus. Sometimes it can be easy to feel lost. Nevertheless, there are so many people and resources willing to help. Who knows, the person drinking coffee right next to you could turn out to be a future friend. You’ll never know if you don’t start up a conversation with them.
There is a certain degree of shame in admitting that you’re not entirely on track, whether emotionally or academically.
The efforts to avoid coming off as confused overpower the efforts that could and should be invested in finding your likes and interests, whatever they might be.
Simran is a freshman intending on majoring in journalism. What are your thoughts on vulnerability on campus? Have you ever felt pressured to act a certain way, or feel a certain way? Please send all questions and comments to opinion@dailycardinal.com.
