“After three years of diligent commenting on the Facebook, my efforts have finally produced the results I’ve been expecting,” stated Madison resident and stay-at-home mom, Barb Suzanna. Despite tens of millions of members and supporters, the NRA recently declared the abolishment of its storied organization. The group has been on the tipping point due to a nationwide surge in gun violence over the past few years, but Barb’s comment finally pushed them over the edge, sparking the dissolution of the organization, which has existed since 1871.
A spokesman for the NRA said that being called “‘a bunch of no-good, gun-toting, heartless Trump lovers’ really made our entire organization take a step back and evaluate our core beliefs. After years of dedicated work defending a Constitutional right, Barb did something that thousands of policy analysts over several decades have not been able to — hurt our feelings.”
He went on to say, “Barb just really knew how to strike a chord in our hearts. That, plus her long record of previous Facebook comments on other domestic policies among foreign affairs gave her the legitimacy she needed to chalk up this victory.”
When asked to comment, Barb told the Daily Cardinal that, “You know, it’s about time people started listening to my opinions. I might not directly be involved in politics or policy, but I sure do have a grasp on what social media says about the issues —and that’s what really counts.”
Now with a winning record, Barb said she will continue to fight the man on Facebook.
“I don’t have to get up off the couch to make a real difference,” she said. “I can sit right here on my keister and tell the rest of the world what they’re doing wrong. Why would I want to waste my energy going out there to attempt something myself when I can just criticize others?”
It remains unclear what is going to happen to gun rights nationwide without the lead defender of them in the Washington ring. However, several comments replying to Barb from card-holding Republican and Waukesha resident Al Kilszusky suggest that a grassroots movement to replace the controversial NRA is on its way.
