The transition from high school to college is unarguably a difficult one, as newfound independence is often accompanied with procrastination, unhealthy habits, and regrettable decisions. For UW-Madison freshman Angela Adams, the faults of her freshman year were not faults of her own, but rather of the famous tequila brand Jose Cuervo and Buzzfeed’s irresistible “Which Type Of Avocado Are You?” quizzes.
When asked about her misfortune, Adams immediately broke down. It was not until after we coaxed her out of her misery with overpriced coffee and ridiculous amounts of praise for her courage that she agreed to comment.
“I just can’t believe that I let these capitalist sharks take advantage of me. I did not consent to this form of forced manipulation. I will never be able to recover from this. Tequila and social media quizzes ruined my life,” she choked as she held back tears.
Adams decided to sue these major companies after, as she claims, they made her fail her Communication Arts 100 and Human Sexuality courses. While these are typically considered the easiest courses on campus, the presence of substances that guarantee abuse and the temptation of headlines such as “We Know When You’ll Get Engaged Based on Your Chipotle Order” or “Tell Us Your Desert Preferences And We’ll Tell You How Many Time You Will Have Sex This Week”.
Adams’s parents, both influential lawyers, have assured us that this case will be won and college students everywhere won’t have to face such daunting decisions between attending class or getting blacked out on a Tuesday afternoon ever again.
“We believe that it is feasible to completely shut down these corporations. Burnett’s, Natural Light and Netflix are next,” Adams’s lawyer and father said outside of the courthouse Tuesday afternoon. “Millennials will not be able to become successful for as long as these predators are profiting and left untouched.”
While we are unsure of how Angela will heal, we only hope that through her advocacy, strategic placement of highly informative posters and these legal proceedings will ensure that this does not happen to another UW freshman again.
