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The Daily Cardinal Est. 1892
Monday, September 16, 2024
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Ask Morgan, welcome back edition: From starting new to ending unsure, I’m here to answer all your back to school queries.

All articles featured in The Beet are creative, satirical and/or entirely fictional pieces. They are fully intended as such and should not be taken seriously as news.

Hello and welcome back Cardinal readers! It doesn’t matter if you are new or returning to the great school of The University of Wisconsin-Madison, you all need the same thing: advice. Let’s face it, I really am the only person in the world that knows what they are doing. Unlike you all, am I able to navigate any and all situations, I even was able to convince my parents getting a degree in creative writing was a good idea. Lucky for all of you I am kind enough to share my knowledge by answering your wonderful questions. So, let’s kick off the semester with two questions from readers like you. 

Hey Morgan, I’m a freshman and was super excited to start college. A bunch of my highschool friends decided to go here too, and at first I thought it was a blessing because I would already have a built in friend group. Well, it’s literally been a week and I realized I never want to see any of those people again. At the same time I haven’t really made any other friends so I’m nervous about cutting them off and being alone. What should I do? 

I too hail from a Wisconsin high school that was basically a Madison feeder school. What I’ve learned is you are not supposed to be college friends with your high school friends. 

It’s like those shows where the characters are in high school and the first couple seasons are really good. If you’re smart, you end the show there so it can be remembered fondly, but when greedy show producers sometimes send them to college to get a couple mediocre seasons, it ruins the entire way we see the show. Some shows, and people, are meant to end after graduation. 

Being alone is scary, but what’s the alternative? Let’s face it: you probably were only friends with these people because you were trapped in the same building for seven hours a day, five days a week together. You need to move on and find yourself away from the people you took homecoming pictures with. 

Having no friends isn't even the worst thing that could happen. If you stick with these people, you might just snap one day and do something you might regret. Trust me, that is a lot of money in legal fees.  It’s better to just distance yourself and find people you actually have something in common with. 

Hope this helps!

Hey Morgan, I’m a senior this year and I’m about to graduate with a degree in computer science. I chose it because I love techie things and thought it was a stable career. Well now apparently the job market sucks and I’m nervous about graduating. What should I do?

Listen, I would normally feel bad. The job market is hard and graduating is scary. That being said, having to hear my degree was useless from tech types most of my college career, I feel like this is some kind of cosmic karma. Oh, I’m going to school to become a barista, well pass the almond milk because we’re going to behind that pastry counter together. 

However,if you are truly passionate about computer science you should stick with it. College should be treated like it was in the 1800s, minus the only accepting rich white men thing. You go for the pursuit of knowledge and to get your parents off your back about marrying a cousin. 

In the end it doesn’t matter since we’re all going to be project managers at Epic anyways.

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Hope this helps!

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Morgan McCormack

Morgan McCormack is the beet editor for The Daily Cardinal. 


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