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Come catch me, feds! I voted 450 times in Wisconsin, Iowa and Pennsylvania.
I truly just want to feel extra involved with civic engagement and show my passion for democracy this election. And when I heard people were double or triple voting in 2020, I thought, ‘I need to step it up, get these numbers up!’
I stuffed about 100 in Wisconsin — 50 in Dane County and 50 in Door County — those will go to Vice President Kamala Harris. I did a little embezzlement with company funds to travel to Philly and ballot stuffed 200 more times for Kamala. I love the libs lol.
I also think, however, democracy prevails best when it is equitable, so I voted an additional 100 times in Pennsylvania for Donald Trump, just to keep people on their toes.
You must be wondering, ‘Peter, how did Ann Selzer's poll have Harris in the lead in Iowa?’ Well, I must say that is all me. I stuffed all the rest of my ballots for Harris in Iowa in an effort to spin back the Obama 2008 electoral map. This took so much work. My printer was backed up and at full speed, but I kept reminding myself to do this for Obama.
Now, one thing about me is I’m a bit hot headed. My friend Libby Demi only voted once, and she went back home to Vancouver, Washington to cast her ballot. Are you fucking with me? So, I used company funds once more and lit the ballot box on fire where she put her vote in. I actually was disgruntled and shocked that this unshowered progressive did not use her only ID to vote in Wisconsin. Yuck!
Libby Demi is a flop in many ways — I mean, did anyone forget the Shannon Hall incident? — so I hope I taught her a lesson.
But you know what. At least that woke abortion queen voted. And you should too. I hope you voted once, twice or 450 times on Election Day.
