With the “Big Dance” coming to an end and the Wisconsin men’s basketball team placing second in the Big Ten Tournament, it’s past time we look at the true stars of the Big Ten — the mascots.
Here is a definitive ranking of all 15 Big Ten mascots.
No. 1: Puddles
There’s so much to love about Puddles, it’s only sensible that he is the No. 1 pick. From his simple origins as a random duck that Oregon students pulled out of a pond and made their mascot to his copyright battle with Donald Duck, Puddles is just all around that Duck. Not to mention his actual physical battle with the Houston Cougar.
No. 2: Dubs
As one of the only schools on this list brave enough to have a live mascot, Washington almost made it to the No. 1 spot with Dubs the Husky. But, seeing as Dubs has never physically attacked another mascot, I had to boot him down to second place. He is by far the cutest mascot on this list, though, and when he dies I will shed a single tear.
No. 3 Bucky
I’m ranking Bucky third mostly because I’m afraid of what he will do to me if he found out I left him out of the top three. Bucky Badger is scary. We shouldn’t be afraid to admit this. As anyone who still lives in the dorms will tell you, Bucky just appears out of nowhere and then never leaves. My most stark memory of Bucky was watching him read Paul Ham’s “Hiroshima Nagasaki,” a book about the atomic bombings and their aftermath, on the jumbotron at a women's basketball game. That’s all you really need to know about him.
No. 4: Testudo
There’s really nothing bad you can say about Maryland’s Testudo, he’s just a little freak. I mean look at him. Is it a bird? A bird wearing a vest? A toucan kept in someone’s house for a year? No! He’s a terrapin, which is a kind of turtle. It’s these kinds of mysteries that make him just a little freak and I would argue the most underrated mascot in the Big Ten. Specifically, Testudo is a Diamondback Terrapin, which is a serve if I’ve ever heard one. No other mascot on this list can say they have diamond in their name.
No. 5: Nittany Lion
What I like about Penn State’s lion is that he’s not quite right. I know, a Nittany Lion is not a traditional lion, but when you hear the word lion, the animal that comes to mind looks nothing like Penn State’s mascot. But that's what I like about him — he’s a little messed up, a little off, and I relate to that on a deep level. Let your freak flag fly, Nittany Lion, and maybe you’ll make the NCAA Tournament next year!
No. 6: Joe Bruin
Joe Bruin is by far the most basic mascot on this list, but I’m posed to argue in his favor because there’s something classic about him. Bears, California, a silly name — it all really goes together. The fact that he has a girlfriend named Josie is truly just the icing on top of the cake. Everyone needs their basics, and UCLA has theirs.
No. 7: Brutus
I originally had Brutus much further down this list but was recently informed what a “Buckeye” actually is, and honestly, Brutus might be the only good thing to ever come out of the state of Ohio. He’s a 10-out-of-10 on accuracy in a way that doesnt make me mind that his head might be twice the size of a normal mascot. Brutus is a nut native to Ohio, a sweet treat with peanut butter and chocolate and a mascot of the worst school in the Big Ten. This is a lot for one mascot’s (or should I say anthropomorphic plant?) shoulders.
No. 8: Herky
The University of Iowa’s Herky is so bad he’s good. Looking at him as an opposing team member just makes me want to beat Iowa at any sport, whether it be basketball, football, tennis or even curling. Looking at this mascot makes you want to wipe that smile off his face, and bringing that competitive energy to any competition is a net positive.
No. 9: Traveler the Horse
Horse girls rejoice! Traveler has made it to the top 10, if only because all the other options are significantly worse. Much like Joe, Traveler’s a little basic. I mean, a Spartan riding a horse? Okay. I respect, however, that it’s a real horse. According to USC, Traveler is “one of the most famous college mascots,” but truly, I’ve never heard of it. Note to Traveler: get a better marketing team, and maybe start working out because it seems like you’re gonna have to start at the running back position next season.
No. 10: Goldy Gopher
Putting aside Wisconsin’s deep rivalry with Minnesota, Goldy’s kind of cute?
No. 11: Purdue Pete
Boring.
No. 12: Lil Red
Too short.
No. 13: Sir Henry
This is America, not 1500’s England.
No. 14: Willie the Wildcat
Northwestern’s Willie the Wildcat scares me, and not in the fun Bucky way, but in the way that I cannot stand to look at him because he reminds me of an animatronic from “Five Nights at Freddy’s.”
No. 15: Sparty
I truly hate everything about Sparty. The outfit is not giving, the concept is boring, and why is everyone obsessed with being a Spartan? Sparty is like the ex-boyfriend whose pictures you keep in your camera roll just so you can show your friends that they haven’t hit rock bottom until they’ve dated this guy. He’s cute on the surface, sure, and then you start thinking about it and you realize it’s horrible.
Honorable mentions, a.k.a. the disappointments
Illinois, Indiana and Michigan all have no mascot.
Truly, this is an offense to sports fans everywhere. A mascot is the beating heart of any team, so it’s no wonder all of these teams have done poorly in the past year. They have no one to rally around and no mascot to walk around campus scaring small children. Michigan won the 2024 CFB National Championship because their mascot was basically Jim Harbaugh, but now even he’s gone and we’ve witnessed their fall from grace. My message to these schools? Get a mascot or get out of the Big Ten.
Gabriella Hartlaub is the former arts editor for The Daily Cardinal. She has also written state politics and campus news. She currently is a summer reporting intern with Raleigh News and Observer. Follow her on Twitter at @gabihartlaub.
