THE BEET
Rent prices got you down? Go even lower with this hot new housing solution!
By Skylar Schultz | Oct. 5, 2022Crawl spaces aren’t just for critters!
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Independent investigation finds Paul Chryst was fired for being ‘too much of a little stinker’
By Mackenzie Moore | Oct. 4, 2022Demands for his next coaching gig reportedly include an extra room “to make a lollipop museum.”
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Freshman misses first lecture, repents to God
By Jeffrey Brown | Oct. 3, 2022“It was an accident!”
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BREAKING: Paul Chryst fired over microwaving tuna sandwich in break room again
By Jeffrey Brown | Oct. 2, 2022“He gave us no other option.”
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Wisconsin Badger fans still have hope despite being embarrassed by Ohio State
By Samuel Mayo | Sep. 29, 2022Wisconsin Badger fans still have Big Ten championship hopes despite Ohio State Buckeyes literally f—ing destroying Wisconsin.
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As Hurricane Ian hits Florida, one man plans to stop it
By Mackenzie Moore | Sep. 28, 2022Sarasota native Doug Ebert expects to make a miracle happen.
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An interview with Anupras
By Anupras Mohapatra | Sep. 26, 2022If Donald Glover could do it, Anupras can do it too.
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Senior eats local dumplings, taste buds will never be the same
By Samuel Mayo | Sep. 22, 2022University of Wisconsin-Madison senior tries Paul's Pel’meni for the first time, taste buds are ruined for rest of life.
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Confused migrants showing up to Martha Stewart’s house
By Mackenzie Moore | Sep. 21, 2022Stewart appears to have created a summer camp.
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Father who wears another man’s name on his back every Sunday uncomfortable hugging son
By Mackenzie Moore | Sep. 20, 2022Football season prompts many fathers to show affection towards those they love most — their favorite players.
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Idiot comedy writer under impression people care about her thoughts and feelings
By Mackenzie Moore | Sep. 15, 2022The Beet editor Mackenzie Moore has an album out now — sorry to be the one to break it to you.
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‘Serena Williams was always overrated,’ says guy who’s pretty good at ping pong
By Mackenzie Moore | Sep. 14, 2022He is widely regarded by his five friends as the best ping pong player of the group.
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Upstairs neighbor in competitive hopscotch league
By Mackenzie Moore | Sep. 13, 2022When one Madison resident went to complain about his upstairs neighbor’s stomping, he learned that his neighbor doesn’t just have a heavy foot.
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They forgot: Beloved local business shutters doors day after forgetting to make 9/11 remembrance post
By Mackenzie Moore | Sep. 12, 2022The 30-year-old flower shop and its owner were the subject of severe threats.
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Nation in mourning after Prince Charles becomes King Charles III
By Mackenzie Moore | Sep. 8, 2022Some of the new King’s staunch supporters — of which there are roughly 50 — say that England needs to give him a chance.
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Senior who still wears L&S t-shirt getting laid constantly
By Mackenzie Moore | Sep. 8, 2022‘By day three, I wanted to lick his armpit stains,’ said a woman who wishes to remain anonymous.
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Dairy science graduate “more than ready” to combat one of nation’s largest issues
By Jeffrey Brown | Sep. 8, 2022The front lines of dairy science are a tough fight, but UW-Madison graduates are ready.
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Chicago announces official change to city flag
By Jeffrey Brown | Aug. 29, 2022A new star will be added to the city’s flag for the first time in nearly 90 years.
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Bass Pro Shop under fire after announcing plans for new pyramid
By Jeffrey Brown | Aug. 23, 2022Following public outcry, consumers look for a response after the controversial decision.
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