Although we may not have all done it, everyone knows what booty calls look like. Booty calls can be incessant 2 a.m. phone calls or texts that range from “U up?” to “Wanna hang?” to the ever creative “Hey.” Booty calls often have an end goal, whether it be full-on fucking, super cute cuddling or anything in between.
After centuries of observing human culture, the Martian Executive Board declared it was time Mars enter the 450,000,000 Century and run an up-to-date Spacebook page.
HAPPY GAMEDAY, BADGERS! Today, we’ll be talking about a lifelong competition we all face: how to find the ideal mate. While I’ve covered this topic in the past, today I’m going to give it a little... spin.
It’s time for another week of Badger Babe bubble blowing! My queer friend Carmen Sandiego is here to talk about who and what she likes in da bedroom, and what campus is like for someone who lives to love the ladies. She has a lot to say so let’s jump right in!
When I was a freshman and sophomore, most people I talked to used condoms religiously. They slipped up every couple of drunk nights, but almost all of my friends reported using condoms every time with every partner—even the ones who had boyfriends!
SING IT WITH ME: “When the weather outside is increasingly less frightful and you’re still a pyromaniac...” as the old spring-beckoning song goes, it’s often time we find ourselves a mate! Sometimes it’s the slightly above-zero temperatures and sometimes it’s that lull in the middle of the semester when we’re up 15 pounds, but whatever the case may be, it seems more couples pop up in the spring semester than any other time of year.
Yooooou guessed it! Likely from the headline, you all have likely concluded it’s that time of the month again. No, not shark week! It’s time for an interview with a University of Wisconsin-Madison Man.
Almalent begins tomorrow and continues for 11 lunar eclipses (or until a calico is born from tabby parents). It’s difficult to decide what you want to give up for the duration of the celebration so the Almanac staff has put together a few suggestions to make things easy.
If anybody has seen 40-Year-Old Virgin as many times as I have (No, you haven’t. Yes, I’m sure.), then they’ll understand the obsession with Urban Dictionary that sprang in the wake of the film’s success. One of the funniest scenes shows one of Steve Carell’s coworkers assuring him he’s not missing out on sex because life is about love, not the “Cincinnati Bow Tie” or the “Dirty Sanchez.”
Anecdotally, last Valentine’s Day was the bee’s knees for me. I got very lucky and happened to go on a date to Walt Disney World’s EPCOT Center with a man whose day job was portraying Prince Charming. When I got home I had several messages waiting from the boy I loved about how much he missed me and felt lonely without me in Madison. It fucking rocked.
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Solutions by The State News
